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Captain’s Prick

A variation of Captain’s Pick, which in the original definition, is an unqualified and unknown/untested guy who is plucked from obscurity (by the head honchos) and helicoptered into a role within a work team, which is way, way out of his league.

This same guy, has neither been peer accepted or consulted-passed - nor will he ever be, coz he is so developmentally challenged that he will never progress, yet still enjoys the privilege of patronage by the top brass.

That’s the original definition, but the pun version (Captain’s Prick) has this same guy having the added dimensions of being obnoxious to the team, never contributing to team effort and what’s more…. he dogs others to the Captain just to get himself and the charade (of his competency) ahead!

All these, while never being made to be accountable for anything himself, coz he is inexplicably endorsed from above (due to the nature of his appointment) and so he is allowed to remain the way he is, indefinitely.

So much so that the others, either start leaving the job or have fantasies of leaving or at worse… have disturbing fantasies of overpowering him and hog tying him up and dumping him into a giant vat upon firewood and setting it to boil (muahahahaha!).
The big bosses at my GF’s workplace not long ago, ushered in “Jason” into the role of Team Manager- he is an untested nobody whose last position was as a mailroom boy.

But he has a glib tongue which convinces the top brass that he is made for greater things.

Jason turns out to be a real Captain’s Prick.

Due to his incompetence, unhelpfulness, nastiness and treachery, he has upset so many people that just last month, within the space of just one week: Jan, Steven, Cynthia, Robert and Melissa all quit in disgust.

Now there is just 2 left in the team - my GF being one of them - she comes home crying to me every night!
by BentoBoxHanz June 26, 2022
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Captain Navad

Leader of the Private Squad. A man who will lead the world through the golden age.
Private Pascal: Bro I just got promoted to Captain Navad's 3nd in command.

Ryan: NO!!!! I'm the worst on the squad now.
by DnEiCgOgYa August 26, 2022
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Captain Monkey

The most followed Albanian geography account on TikTok.

TikToker that’s known for geography videos, memes, gags and more!
Man 1: Hey dude I just was one of Captain Monkey’s videos!

Man 2: I know me too! How does he make such good maps?
by AnonymousApe January 12, 2023
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captain fingers

a man who does not kiss but just fingers.
by Xx_soulhunter_xX July 23, 2023
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Captain Cananada

No, his name is not Captain Canada. Captain Cananada is a huge superhero who loves to save the day at any moment!
Captain Cananada is going to save us from The Face!
by babyjohn991 September 20, 2023
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captain janeway

Captain of the starship Voyager. Lost and stranded in the Delta Quadrant. Little do people know that Janeway has a lust for Seven of Nine. Janeway likes her coffee black, almost everyday, because of being so tired from the night before, lying awake, thinking of Seven of Nine. Janeway will sometimes masturbate 2-3 times a night in order to alleviate the tension and let out her urges.

Janeway lets her true feelings show more during season 7. Janeway secretly wants to be with Seven of Nine, lying there in bed, circling her tongue around Seven of Nine's perk nipples. However, Janeway knows that this love is forbidden by Starfleet protocol. As a result, she only wants to see Seven of Nine happy, even if it means being with Chakotay. During the last episode of season 7, future Janeway argues with her present self to take the pathway home. Present Janeway finally gives in, when future Janeway reveals that Seven of Nine dies if they do not take the path home. Future Janeway is also willing to sacrifice herself in order to ensure that Seven of Nine lives, even if it means being with Chakotay.
Captain Janeway: "I'd like to help you explore your...humanity."
Seven of Nine: "I don't see how being naked is relevant?"
Captain Janeway: "This will help you to learn to feel more comfortable around other women in the sonic showers."
Seven of Nine: "Is it common for one woman to wash another woman's back?"
Captain Janway: "Of course it is Seven of Nine. It's all part of the natural course of human life. Just lean forward, relax, and learn to love it. That's it. Let me get your lower back."

*Janeway begins to slide one, then two fingers into Seven of Nine*

Janeway: "I never knew a borg could be so warm in wet inside."
by Lightboxes April 9, 2008
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Captain Redhead

The superhero which results from the combination of Twin 1 and Twin 2, both redheads supreme.
Think of all the superheroes you can, imagine all their powers combined into one being, add redhair and a voice that has been known to make women swoon and you have Captain Redhead. He is 6'5" tall.
Captain Redhead has never actually been called forth because his mere presence on earth would cause all of female humanity to faint, which could result in major traffic accidents. Also his hair absorbs solar rays.
By your Twin powers combined, I am Captain Redhead!
by Redhead Twin 1 January 5, 2008
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