John Michael

The act of some little shit coming up and groping your asshole, just like the infamous John Michael

Man, I was just John Michaeled

by Dr. NigNog October 17, 2025

John

The most average person on the planet. Has a medium-income job, a medium house, a wife and 2 kids, a dog, has a hobby that he likes, an average social life, average morals, average skills, etc.

Dude, John is really average.

by buddy retard June 19, 2020

Doing a John Opkins

John Opkins is an English voice actor renowned for his gift at doing a range of English accents.

‘That ain’t his real voice. He’s doing a John Opkins.’.

‘That geezer don’t talk like that normally. He’s just doing a John Opkins.’

by SwissMinty February 22, 2025

john funk

a very self absorbed femboy twink, a knee slapper, a self proclaimed man , a comedian, a gigolo, his intro song is “i aint got nobody (just a gigolo) by louis prima”. money getting, hes a grinderrr oh oh oh ohhh he get money fr oh oh oh oh ohh, likes to slap tf out hoes if out of line, he spreads the love alll arounddd, the one and only big nasty, he likes to feather his mullet, does roids on a daily basis and ends up getting hemorrhoids from the strong strain, unleashes the most diabolical, unhinged, life taking, nose hair burning farts ever. also shits himself alot bc of the strain and pressure of the farts.

“yoo is that john funk?” “yeah bro i heard he got the gnarliest farts ever man”

*farts*

*burns nose hairs off*

“damm nigga chill out u pullin a john funk w those farts”

*looking in the mirror w self obsession*
“aye bro u ever gonna leave the mirror alone?”
“nah im the fairest of them all the mirror said so”

by jim bithell March 10, 2025

John Sibert

A white cracker who plays guitar and has said the nigga word several times

DAMN John Sibert you are racist

by anonymous November 20, 2023

John cena

Nothing to see here

Where is john cena

by xXOPOGXx69 June 11, 2018

John

John is very loud, but that’s only because he cares. Get into discussions with things you’re both passionate about, and they’ll be the most interesting thing you’ve talked about that day. He might not open up immediately, but if you can spend time with him, it’ll definitely be amazing.

I just spent 7 hours screaming at Mario Olympics with John and loved every second of it.

by RCG_Hater December 24, 2023