Ted’s Law

The law that, in generality and absent mitigating circumstances or context, “the fact that you have to say ‘they’re not that bad’ means that they are that bad.”

First published after extensive research into the sexually available women of Boston, MA in the 2012 Seth MacFarlane film Ted, spoken by the eponymous Ted, whom MacFarlane also voiced.

Ted:
Look, all I'm saying is that Boston women are, on the whole, a paler, uglier sort than women from the elsewheres of life.

John:
That's bullshit. What about Lori? She's hot.

Ted:
No, Lori's from Pennsylvania. That's not a Boston girl.

John:
They're not that bad.

Ted:
See, the fact that you have to say "they're not that bad" means that they are that bad.

Guy watching the movie: So that’s where Ted’s Law comes from!

by me.....really May 7, 2021

Ted

The platypus on the Australian 20 cent piece( commonly called tails)

I call ted

by Notben36364578 November 30, 2018

ted meal

A meal that belongs to a guy named Ted.

OMG Kelly! Look he has a ted meal!!!

by J.DAWGdizzle May 23, 2016

Ted

Ted can always leg press more than anyone else but can never spell words like "zoo".

"oh hi ted are you leg pressing 600kg"

ted: "yeah I just went to the zo."

by teds secret lover February 24, 2025

Ted Cruzing

Leaving when times get tough especially when your power goes out and you have enough money to abandon the people who need you the most.

Woman: Where are you going?

Man: to Cancun till this all blows over

Woman: so you’re Ted Cruzing on me?

Man: Don’t worry I’m just going to drop my wife off for the weekend then stay in Cancun and work remotely from the comfort of my 80 degree hotel room.

by Audi0sl4v3 February 21, 2021

Ted

ted

"ted"

by Schrodinger's cock pasta July 12, 2025

Ted

ted is a fucking beauty and is jacks brother they like to get fucked up and full send shit all the time ted is also a fucking legend because he’s a farmer

last weekend ted and jack and coop got slauched

by cloud sends September 11, 2019