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Corporate Cosplay

The act of when individuals in a white-collar environment masquerade as sophisticated, hi-powered professionals with dreams of innovation and corporate-ladder climbing.

In reality, they are nothing more than simpering, limp mediocrities with little imagination, over-inflated ambition, endless arsenals of vapid buzzwords and half-baked skills that offer nothing to whatever field or industry they happen to be (undeservedly) employed in.

The only thing they happen to share with real professionals who actually do know their shit, are direct as hell and get things done is their passion for their own business attire. Giorgio Armani, Hugo Boss, or hell, even some cheap-ass suit from Target won't hide the fact that these dipshits are out of their depth and pollute the office environment with their infinite, tedious posturing.

Unlike typical cosplay there ain't no hotties strutting around as Wonder Woman and Black Widow, or dudes stomping around as Thor or Batman here. Only simians with ties and lapels are what you can expect.
"Hey Sean, ready to watch the latest round of Corporate Cosplay in the Marketing Dept. Today?"

"Jesus Christ. If I hear the word 'artisan' or 'paradigm' from those fuckwits one more time I'm going to crack some skulls."
by No Man's Skyfall December 15, 2016
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Corporate Kermit

A colloquial term used in corporate settings to describe an individual who takes excessive pleasure in establishing and enforcing overly strict rules for the office. For instance, requiring prior approval to participate in company-sanctioned recreation (e.g., ping pong). Related to: corporate cunt.
Corporate Kermit, during a conference call: Excuse me, Salt Lake office? Please put yourself on mute, I can't hear myself talk over your collective breathing. Thanks.
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Corporate Criminal

A term used to describe germans who are savage, or very intelligent.
by Simon Ambrose March 22, 2019
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corporate criminal

A term used to describe germans who are savage or very intelligent.
That german guy is a corporate criminal.
by Simon Ambrose March 22, 2019
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corporate trade

A Business man who messes with other men but no one would know by their appearance or talking to them. They most likely are married and have a family. They keep a kept man on the side.

Corporate Trade
I’m tired of working all the time , I need corporate trade, and not these street boys with no job!
by Vjamaal May 22, 2019
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Corporate Sunset

A sunset as viewed out of the windows of an office building before an inevitable late night, but seen through the reflection of the windows of the identical office building across the parking lot from your own.
"Somehow, seeing the corporate sunset tonight isn't making the four extra hours of work ahead of me worth it."
by fishy-fishy December 12, 2019
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Corporate Criminal

a word use to describe german people who are savage.
by sexycow432 April 21, 2019
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