7 definition by JonJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt

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The state of being unusually courageous in a corporate environment that causes an individual to utter wildly inappropriate comments, especially when taken out of context. Most often occurs to a Golden Boy.
Golden Boy, in the middle of a meeting: It smells like SEX in here!

Others: Wow, that took some hessticular fortitude to say that in front of the boss.
by JonJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt July 20, 2019

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A ceremonial rite of passage practiced by the Meskwaki tribe of Native Americans. The ceremony consisted of the Meskwaki chief riding into the camp (normally at a tölt gait), on an Icelandic horse. The chief retrieves a dish of melted cheese and places the horse's genatalia into the dish (ergo, cheeseballs). The chief then takes a radish from the horse's mouth (ergo, horseradish) and dips it into the cheese. The chief offers the horseradish cheeseball to the young Meskwaki initiatve, who eats it and becomes a full member of the tribe.
Stefon: Have you read about the horseradish cheeseballs that the Meskwaki Indians eat? It's the craziest initiation ceremony I've ever seen.
by JonJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt July 25, 2019

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A term used by game show enthusiasts to describe an individual who is adept at obscure Japanese game shows. The term was first associated with the game show "Watashi o Kaikosaseru", which is loosely translated to "Get Me Fired".
Did you see that guy competing in that weird game show Wheel of Fish? He's a pro, practically a Pensak
by JonJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt July 24, 2019

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A type of cellar-dweller that is characterized by owning a drum set, or some other type of musical instrument, this giving him an overinflated sense of coolness. Behaviors include bragging to people about being hungover at work, and drawing undue attention to their personal appearance (e.g., "check out my sweet, sweet auburn hair!")
Wow, listen to Sean talk about how cool he is just because he plays the drums. He's such a goblin on drums, he still lives with his parents in a room that has carpet on the walls.
by JonJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt July 23, 2019

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A colloquial term used in corporate settings to describe an individual who takes excessive pleasure in establishing and enforcing overly strict rules for the office. For instance, requiring prior approval to participate in company-sanctioned recreation (e.g., ping pong). Related to: corporate cunt.
Corporate Kermit, during a conference call: Excuse me, Salt Lake office? Please put yourself on mute, I can't hear myself talk over your collective breathing. Thanks.
by JonJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt July 22, 2019

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An involuntary gesture characterized mainly by a shoulder twitch and outstretched palms of the hand. Always accompanied with a Shatner pause. The gesture received its namesake from William Shatner's portrayal of Captain James T. Kirk in Star Trek, who incorporated this into the character.

Can also be applied in real world situations to bring emphasis to an upcoming statement.
Proctologist: Ok get ready, you may feel some pressure.

Patient: Please doctor, I'm *Shatner shift* accustomed to being under pressure
by JonJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt July 22, 2019

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A phrase used by a dictator or other totalitarian ruler to command his subjects to put an individual to death, traditionally by an execution method known as corn holing. It is thought to have originated in Ancient Rome, where the phrase would be spoken by the emperor after a gladiator was defeated in the coliseum.
Centurion: Emperor Kermitus, what is your decree for the gladiator?

Emperor Kermitus, giving a thumbs down: Get that man
by JonJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt July 21, 2019

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