John Maloney

John Racism, the inventor of racism, grew up in Mobile, Alabama, in the early 1700s. One day he stumbled across his very first black person and was fascinated at the pigment in their skin. From that day forward he dedicated his life to hating everyone based on the color of their skin and he made it known that in his mind, people with the same white skin as him, her higher in status then every other skin color. The people of his hometown all loved this idea due to them also having white skin. The word quickly spread amongst the white world and this amassed something of a cult following for John. To honor his name, the action of hating someone based off their color garnered his last name “Racism”. Although John may not have known it at the time, he would go on to have the biggest impact on this world, splitting it into a war of which race would end up on top.

Aaron: “Racism is such a bizarre concept, if it wasn’t for John Racism, I would have been felt more comfortable with the color of my skin”

Carlos: “Hell no! John Racism was a badass, I love being able to say racial slurs and feel better about myself because of my white skin!”

by Saucy Spoon December 13, 2023

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