Santa Claus

A man who gets off on watching children 24/7 and making a list of Those who are nice, and those who are “naughty” he uses this list to choose his targets and break into their houses. He is often depicted as obese due to the fact that he lives exclusively off of stolen baked goods and dairy products, but in reality he must be RIPPED from all of the walls he scales and he has to be fairly lean in order to squeeze down all those chimneys. Mose people believe he gets around so fast because of a majical slay and a team of flying reign deer with LED noses, but this is very unlikely because he would be so easy to spot. It is much more plausible that the child stalking creep with so many different names is actually riding around in a white van to blend in with the snow and to have room for all of his “gifts” that he’s used to gain children’s trust worldwide! The only question remaining is, “is Santa Claus coming to your town?”

Me: I think I just heard something on the roof!
Macaulay Culkin: I’ll go deal with it.
Me: Wait! It could be Santa Claus!
Macaulay Culkin: Your right... I’ll bring extra bricks.
Me: Good idea! Now go put an end to that creep!

by iabast December 25, 2020

Santa Ho

A slutty girl that wears a red Santa hat along with a short red and white skirt and high black boots.

Look, there's another Santa Ho. You always see them around Christmas time.

by TygerGal December 9, 2009

Santa Clausish

Mustache or facial hair that reminds you of Santa Claus

Randy’s mustache was very Santa Clausish

by Gabe.M March 7, 2020

Santa Weight

Weight you put on over the winter holidays, due to the crap ton of candy and baked goods available

1 : "Be honest, does this dress make me look fat?"
2: "I mean, you have put on some weight since I last saw you."
1: "Yeah, but it's Santa weight. I'm gonna lose it by January."

by Xpngs&cats December 5, 2016

wet santa

A wet Santa is when you do crystal meth out of a girls wet vagina. After snorting it the meth is wet and sticks to your face giving you a white Santa-like beard.

Bro, last night I totally gave my girl a wet Santa last night.

by Jackglinky November 11, 2015

Sideways Santa

A sexual act involving 3 men, where one man inserts a candy cane up his anus and the other 2 men give oral sex to the first man. As the first man ejaculates, he pulls out the candy cane, yells merry Christmas, and gives the candy cane to the other 2 men who must promptly eat it.

My asshole still tastes like peppermint after that Sideways Santa I did last week.

by murica69 December 13, 2013

Santa Clause

An excuse to get children to make good choices and be good all year. However, it never works but we give them presents anyways, so they don’t throw tantrums saying that this is the worst Christmas ever.

Hey, Little Bobby, Make sure you’re nice or else Santa Clause won’t get you that teddy bear you want.

by lady tiny fame six November 13, 2019