A sex act so depraved that Stephen Colbert could not describe it on air in his Feb 4, 2010 episode. His only hints were that the act involved moose antlers, a jar of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.
The act itself consists of three parts, and therefore requires three people: the first person must don the antlers, and ram into the other two as much as possible, while blind-folded, thus exhibiting the mating behavior of the Canadian moose. The second person is the one in possession of the Stanley Cup, and must apply the syrup to it, so as to lubricate it for the final act. Finally, the third person is either entered through the vagina or the anus with the Stanley Cup.
The act itself consists of three parts, and therefore requires three people: the first person must don the antlers, and ram into the other two as much as possible, while blind-folded, thus exhibiting the mating behavior of the Canadian moose. The second person is the one in possession of the Stanley Cup, and must apply the syrup to it, so as to lubricate it for the final act. Finally, the third person is either entered through the vagina or the anus with the Stanley Cup.
Man, that was one rough night last night. My friends and I tried to recreate Canada's History. I was on the receiving end of the Stanley Cup... I'm still sore...
by schlagsahne February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. A sexual act in which the male attaches the antlers of a moose to his head. Then, the woman must sit in the Stanly Cup (which is filled with maple syrup). Then, you pour more maple syrup into all of the female's orphases. The male then proceeds skull fuck her, then blow his load into her eyes, maul her with the antlers, then shit on her bloody corpse.
by DLUMPS! February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. This is the most offensive sexual act that has ever been performed in the history of Canada. It involves moose antlers, a gallon of maple syrup, 14.5 people. This makes the "Aristocrats" seem like soft core porn!
Canadian #1 : "Did you hear that the magazine 'The Beaver' is changing its name to 'Canada's History' because of the porn filters on search engines?"
Canadian #2 : "Oh no! Don't they know that 'Canada's History' is a lot worse than 'The Beaver'!!! What have they done!
Canadian #2 : "Oh no! Don't they know that 'Canada's History' is a lot worse than 'The Beaver'!!! What have they done!
by SColbert February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. While wearing a racoon skin hat, pour warm maple syrup down her back so she thinks you came. When she turns around, you knock her out with a hockey stick and start singing 'oh canada' with your member in her unconcious mouth. When she wakes up, you proceed to crap a hockey puck sized dumper on her chest.
Joe: Why is your girlfriend smelly and missing some teeth?
Me: She learned about Canada's history last night.
Me: She learned about Canada's history last night.
by Colbert Reporter February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. Girl's Gone Wild late-night advertisements, with bears, instead of girls. This is Steven Colbert's favorite/worst fantasy.
Also a strain of herpes.
Also a strain of herpes.
by alraKSphinx February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. a secret sexual act be-known only to the descendants of the French fur trappers who first settled in Canada. It involves a copious amount of males and the rack of a moose, maple syrup, and a silver bowl which has since been modified into the Stanley Cup. Although the action itself is classified those who accomplish the act are free to no longer live in Canada.
A lollipop is to the Wonka Factory as 2 girls 1 cup is to Canada's History.
Wow no more cancer, aids, war, healthcare costs, and Fox News. Really? I wonder who performed Canada's History to make that possible.
Wow no more cancer, aids, war, healthcare costs, and Fox News. Really? I wonder who performed Canada's History to make that possible.
by Lt. Barkey the Dog February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. An incredibly long, drawn-out sexual act involving a man, a woman, their daughter and son, Grandma (it helps if she's from Quebec), the family collie, moose antlers, maple syrup and a piece of hockey equipment from a former Shawinigan Junior-B player named Red Stanley (aka "Stanley's Cup", sometimes misinterpreted as the trophy from a professional hockey league).
While the act itself is far to complex to explain without the use of diagrams, specially modified crash-test dummies and a pie-chart, it can sometimes be seen performed live on stage at an underground nightclub in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan by a local theatre troupe known as "The Aristocrats".
While the act itself is far to complex to explain without the use of diagrams, specially modified crash-test dummies and a pie-chart, it can sometimes be seen performed live on stage at an underground nightclub in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan by a local theatre troupe known as "The Aristocrats".
"Last night's performance of Canada's History was so intense that Grandma's glass-eye wouldn't come back out."
by grapevine1015 February 5, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug.