Football boner

This is when you are really excited about football season.

Tommy had a hige football boner all week, waiting for football to start on Friday night.

by Ohio driver September 5, 2019

Football Seconds

A measure of time which is described as one second but is usually much longer than one second.

The name, "football seconds" comes from the fact that usually football games last longer than the time on the clock.

Kandi: When does the football game end?
DeAndre: In 30 seconds. It's the 4th quarter.
Kandi (under her breath): More like 30 football seconds.

by @username November 25, 2018

football amnesiast

A person who watches all the games but can't remember the results.

You watched the game but can't tell me the score. You are a true football amnesiast.

by Vatu July 7, 2018

Dwarf football

The act of lubing up your favorite dwarf with mayonnaise and then getting 20 other beefy guys to cover themselves with tarter sauce and playing a game of 11 on 11 football using the midget as the ball. Best played nude in the snow because it allows the dwarf to become more stiff. When a team scores a touch down they must give the midget the old anal falcon punch. If the dwarf flies through the goal post during this act then you receive an extra point. The anal falcon punch method must be used during field goals, extra points, punts,and kick offs

Me and my friends where playing dwarf football last night. My erection was so hard that i accidentally splooged all over the midget during a fumble. The best part is showering of with all the beef cakes after the game

by Doge2324 January 28, 2014

Football soldier

An individual that religiously attends every football game possible with the sole purpose of fighting all people who support any team other than their own. Traits include: very low intelligence and the ability to consume unimaginable volumes of alcohol in the form of cheap ass beer. They are known to never use their assigned seat and spend the entire duration of the game verbally assaulting both teams, referee and especially any supporter of any other team. Weapons of choice are the chair that they have been assigned to (if not nailed to the floor) and empty beer cans, glasses or anything they can pick up around them.

Bob was in a fight after yesterday's football game with the other football soldiers

Bob is a football soldier

by Sanctuum December 2, 2020

Football Twitter

A subsection of twitter where people tweet only about football/soccer. Well... sort of. Whenever people disagree with each other, they "dox" each other, but the "dox" is just calling them some sort of Indian name and the leaked location is always "the slums of insert Indian/Bangladeshi city here, e.g. Mumbai, Chittagong, Jaipur." Everyone spreads positive propaganda about their favorite players and hide any reply that criticizes them. They have the funniest roasts. It isn't bad, but Youngboy twitter is better.

Football Twitter account 1: *propaganda about Ronaldo*
Football Twitter account 2: Shut up Rajeev you live in the slums of Kolkata so why are you talking

by PayolaLover69 October 8, 2022

football lessons

Code for when you accidentally ejaculate in a woman a need to venmo her money for plan B

Will McGuire just Venmo’d Katie Pendleton for “football lessons” what a dirty dog.

by Caduceus April 18, 2023