Close The Hand

An escalation of a state of Domestic Violence, whereby the "open hand" of a slap is exchanged for the "closed hand" of a fist.

"So what happened?"
"She went crazy and slapped me!"
"Oh man, that's terrible!"
"And the look in her eye; Dude, I thought she was gonna Close The Hand..."

by PopeMichael May 11, 2011

second-hand offense

The irritating process in which someone gets offended by something FOR someone else before they get offended, even if they wouldn't actually get offended by it. Most commonly observed on social networking platform: Twitter.

Mei: *name is Mei*
Modern Twitter users: Ur name is Mei? :/ please stop appropriating japanese names. we know ur name is amanda or basic white name
Mei: I'm literally asian help
Me: Do not fret, they are suffering second-hand offense

by 10:20am September 16, 2021

hands on sight

Means when you see the POS you are saying this to, your hands or fists will be connecting with their face

“Robert better watch out, when I see him it’s Hands on sight.”

“Fuck you bitch! Next time our paths cross its Hands on sight!!!”

by Hmmmmhuhwhat? August 12, 2022

Popping a short-handed Joe

“Popping a short-handed Joe” is the expression of fisting a handicapped human in the anus with half a hand.

“Mind popping a short-handed Joe on me? I really need that after my long day at work!”
“Sure, no worries!”

by chinese_dogman February 20, 2021

Miller hand

Swelling, blistering or lacerations of the skin between the thumb and index finger due to excessive opening of screw-off bottle tops.

"I've got a bad case of Miller hand after drinking that crate of beer last night"

by ClownWithNoShoes November 24, 2014

Hand sweep

To get or receive a hand job.

I gave him a hand sweep while he was driving. He liked it so much that he, in return, gave me a hand sweep!

by Himjobs December 31, 2011

WD-40 Hands

A game I made up involving taping 2 containers of WD-40 to your hands, as well as your friends', and seeing who can empty their cans the fastest. Bonus points if it's used on nothing at all and wasted.

Wanna go play WD-40 Hands?
Sure, lemme run to Home Depot real quick.

by consumegoyslop October 21, 2022