Grandma's Grape Jam

The act of giving a senior citizen a swift kick to the groin.

Billy: "Old Man McGreggor almost caught me running through his petunias yesterday."

Jose: "Oh my goodness, what did you do?!"

Billy: "I gave him a little taste of Grandma's Grape Jam, and ran away as fast as I could."

by anonymous ass March 25, 2003

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slap my grandma

Phrase used when experiencing excitement. Can be used in my place of "no kidding."

Well, slap my grandma! My dog's name is Badonkadonk too!

by Lindsay Hamel May 2, 2008

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Taking Grandma to Applebees

An inexpensive means of entertaining an elderly woman, requiring only male shamelessness and her healthy libido.

Taking Grandma to Applebees only cost me my dignity and self respect.

by Texpert November 21, 2010

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grandma's necklace

In Texas dialect--Texas is so hot and humid in the summer, that perspiration on children's necks combines with dust from the ground to form a single, dark line of dirt in the skin crease under the necks of the children. The adult, seeing the dark line on the child's (especially girl's) neck, laughingly teases the child that, "You stole Grandma's necklace!" Younger children get defensive or cry. Older ones play along with the adult.

Adult or teen: "Ooh! You're gonna be in trouble! You stole Grandma's necklace!"

Child: "What do you mean? No, I didn't!"

Adult or teen asks peer to verify or shows child in a mirror: "See, you stole Grandma's brown necklace!"

Child: "No, I didn't! Really!"

by Embroidery Fan June 10, 2017

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grandma's dark secret

Whats your grandma's dark secret smoking weed in a dark ally with some black guys or being stared in a porno with a black guys house dick? And by the way I don't want to know.

"Whats grandma's dark secret? "Jimmy.
"You don't wanna know." Grandpa.

by Bob McRoss December 5, 2016

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