When a woman returns home after a long and boring day working in a restaurant with the sole aim of getting shagged silly. Her advances lack subtlety as she just grabs at the man´s genitals demanding coitus. When faced with any resistance she jumps on the unaccommodating male and rides him into oblivion.
Nicky: Hey Amanda, do you fancy a drink after work?
Amanda: Nah, I don´t think so.
Nicky: Why not? Are you off home to jump the monkey?
Amanda: Yeah, I am fucking gagging for it.
Nicky: Crikey!!
Amanda: Nah, I don´t think so.
Nicky: Why not? Are you off home to jump the monkey?
Amanda: Yeah, I am fucking gagging for it.
Nicky: Crikey!!
by FurbyFuck10 October 08, 2015
The fat friend of your group. Often is into and collects worthless junk. Usually eats pizza for breakfast.
by Dr. KLUE August 06, 2008
Another word for a woman. They are always running around making sandwiches like monkeys in a kitchen.
by FamousJew February 27, 2020
I saw crazy Stacy at the bar on Wednesday and she was looking rough, then Saturday I asked for her number not even knowing it was her. That's a switch monkey for you.
by dunbfore June 20, 2010
A person who is ostensibly unable to walk, chew gum, sit, eat, drink, sleep, work, shop, drive, breathe, take a crap, or accomplish any other task commonly performed with or without opposable digits, unless a cell phone is inexorably attached to the side of their head.
This person is typically oblivious to almost all stimuli around them including any carbon-based life forms, merging traffic, lights at intersections, toll booth gates, falling pianos, the cashier in front of them, the check-out line behind them, the person they've just walked in front of, the inappropriateness of their loud phone rants, or anything else involving sight, sound or smell (such as the fungus slowly growing on the mouth and ear piece of the greasy device).
Ironically, it has been shown that when placed in a room with other family members and friends, but without the cellular appliance, this person has alarmingly little to say to any of them. This time spent communicating face to face has been estimated to be a mere fraction of the corresponding period spent talking to the same people through the device, and at great and perpetual urgency.
This person is typically oblivious to almost all stimuli around them including any carbon-based life forms, merging traffic, lights at intersections, toll booth gates, falling pianos, the cashier in front of them, the check-out line behind them, the person they've just walked in front of, the inappropriateness of their loud phone rants, or anything else involving sight, sound or smell (such as the fungus slowly growing on the mouth and ear piece of the greasy device).
Ironically, it has been shown that when placed in a room with other family members and friends, but without the cellular appliance, this person has alarmingly little to say to any of them. This time spent communicating face to face has been estimated to be a mere fraction of the corresponding period spent talking to the same people through the device, and at great and perpetual urgency.
Get off the phone and drive cell monkey.
It's your turn dumbass! STFU and write the check or run your debit. This store has gotta ban the freaking cell monkeys in checkout lines?
Hey cell monkey, your fly is open and you're standing in front of the forklift.
It's your turn dumbass! STFU and write the check or run your debit. This store has gotta ban the freaking cell monkeys in checkout lines?
Hey cell monkey, your fly is open and you're standing in front of the forklift.
by idiot emptor April 15, 2009
by Benhar February 12, 2009
Used most often used at the poker table, or in reference to a poker game.
An extreme form of tilt, often caused by a series of bad beats, excessive table banter from donkeys, or otherwise shit-ass luck in a poker game. The player experiencing monkey tilt may experience one or more of the following syptoms: 1) complete and utter disregard for money (in fact, other players may even claim that the player in question "hates money") 2) frequent bluffs and all-in moves before the flop in a no-limit hold-em game 3) calling bets with complete disregard for the cards or the odds being offered 4) jumping up and down screaming "oooh oooh aah ahh" while shoving a banana down your own throat
An extreme form of tilt, often caused by a series of bad beats, excessive table banter from donkeys, or otherwise shit-ass luck in a poker game. The player experiencing monkey tilt may experience one or more of the following syptoms: 1) complete and utter disregard for money (in fact, other players may even claim that the player in question "hates money") 2) frequent bluffs and all-in moves before the flop in a no-limit hold-em game 3) calling bets with complete disregard for the cards or the odds being offered 4) jumping up and down screaming "oooh oooh aah ahh" while shoving a banana down your own throat
by Carlos CFC October 12, 2005