Northfield Mount Hermon

A private, primarily boarding high school located in Gill, Massachusetts. NMH thinks Deerfield is their main rival, but Deerfield barely knows NMH exists.

Thanks to NMH's mandatory student labor and the active farm on campus, early twentieth-century Mount Hermon students were regarded as hicks by their contemporaries, and Deerfield gave them the derogatory nickname "Hoggers." In the 1960s, NMH developed a reputation for hippies and drug use.

NMH has the largest campus of any New England prep school, with ample woodland for students to have sex in, and it also has the most deans of any New England prep school to catch them. NMH also used to have the best prep basketball program in the country, but in 2022, the school dismantled the program. NMH still has the best alpine skiing program in New England and elite soccer, crew, and Ultimate Frisbee teams. Additionally, NMH used to have the best food of any prep school in New England, but obviously no longer does.

Northfield Mount Hermon is, in conclusion, worse than Deerfield, Choate, Loomis, and St. Paul's; but better than any Vermont prep school, Williston, Cushing, the average public school, or a sharp stick in the eye. Students can rest easy at night knowing that three meals will be waiting for them the next day (if they have time to eat them) and that they will probably not be sexually assaulted by a straight male student or teacher.

Chauncey: Tomorrow we're going to Northfield Mount Hermon.
Pilchard: Who's Herman?
Chauncey: No, Northfield Mount Hermon, like, the boarding school. We're going to get cooked by them in hockey.

by RamRancher20 October 29, 2023

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