helmet merchant

a being who transcends the definition of being 'a helmet'

Player 1: "Watch this!"
*Player 1 teamkills Player 2*
Player 2: "Proper helmet merchant you mate"

by TeevReqq May 22, 2023

After Tea Merchant

Hen

Lads: hen? Are you coming online?
Hen: after my tea
Lads: hen you’re such an “after tea merchant”

by Geezer62364 January 11, 2021

Pound my ass like a marching band drum

Verb
1. An expression one used to describe the feeling of always being fucked by every one and/or in every way other than intercourse.

I had to work 14 hours today then sit in 4 hours of traffic and got a fucking flat tire 3 hours from my house! Pound my ass like a marching band drum!

by Veddy Sick Man December 6, 2022

Penalty merchant

The definition of a penalty merchant is Manchester United

Man United are such penalty merchants

by Jack furey March 2, 2021

Simon Marchant

To pull a Simon Marchant is, to join a football team and costantly be on the bench.

"That Michael Owen has been pulling a Simon Marchant since he joined Real Madrid eh"?

by Dan Simmonds March 23, 2005

Kayak merchant

An un-healthy attraction to kayaks, kayak merchants can often be found in opaque rivers touching themselves inappropriatly in front of other kayakers, also found to be wacking off over kayaks

'Look at that dirty kayak merchant over there, the disgusting chode merchant ginger pheasant raper'

by Price & Sam December 3, 2009

The Merchandise

Any “juicy” parcels of real estate, usually on a female, but can refer to both genders.

Girl, protesting a guy’s trying to feel her up: “Hey! Who said you could sample The Merchandise?!???”

by QuacksO November 26, 2011