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wake up and smell the coffee

to become aware and take action before it's too late
Our party keeps losing the presidential election. Wake up and smell the coffee.
by Light Joker October 13, 2006
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poo wakely

nat: omg kate i bet his widge is massive
kate: deffo a poo wakely
by kurt's bumhole November 27, 2012
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JESSE WAKE UP

An allusion to Breaking Bad when Walter White breaks into Jesse Pinkman's place to wake him up.
Having consumed an excessive amount of hallucinogenic munchies given to him by Jesse, Walter desperately punches through Jesse's door. He then proceeds to frantically shake Jesse, who is knocked out, because he is coveting Kentucky Fried Chicken like a Catholic priest yearns children, but is himself afraid of acquiring it due to his high.

This line is often used hysterically as a mild inside joke in superior friend groups or in the crack-addicted Breaking Bad community. For instance, when your friend is dead asleep at 3 AM you may scare the life out of them by yelling the three magic words in intermittent order. Doing this after having set their house on fire enhances the experience. As a diehard Breaking Bad fan, it is unlikely that they will be upset at you for committing arson.

There are 27 three-word sentences in which you can yell any of these three words, but the most common are:
• "Jesse Wake Up."
• "Wake Up Jesse."
• "Jesse Jesse Jesse."

Some contemporary parents name their child -- or sometimes all of their children -- "Jesse" so that they can traumatise them with "JESSE WAKE UP!" every morning of their lives. Conveniently, the name is unisexual.
"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"The group assignment was due yesterday night Jesse!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"The Barbie movie Jesse! THE BARBIE MOVIE IS IN CINEMAS JESSE!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"We need to hit the gym Jesse!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"JESUS Jesse! Jesus died for our sins Jesse!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"It's sunrise Jesse! We didn't eat before the fast Jesse!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"Kanye Jesse! Kanye tweeted something Jesse!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"We slept through the entire Flash movie Jessie!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"My mum said we can have a sleepover Jesse! SHE SAID YES JESSE!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"Maccas Jesse! Maccas has a new sundae flavour Jesse!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"Santa Claus Jesse! SANTA IS A BLACK JEW JESSE!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"My memory Jesse! I HAVE MEMORY LOSS JESSE!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"My mum Jesse! She told me to wash the dishes Jesse! I FORGOT TO WASH THE DISHES JESSE!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"My memory Jesse! I HAVE MEMORY LOSS JESSE!"
by bradleysheadissick July 14, 2023
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Dru Wakely

Dru Wakely is one of the three members of the british band, The Midnight Beast, who was made famous after spoofing Ke$ha's single, Tik Tok.
The other two members are Ashley Horne and Stefan Abingdon.
Dru is normally the one in the songs that's "dad goes off on a cold, Christmas Eve to get some more milk, but he never comes, back and 17 years later finds out he's with a whole, fucking family of some Spanish bitch and he doesn't even, know his fucking name anymore"* and goes on drunken rampages, fucks hoes and scored some drugs.*

He was also in the bands, Clik Clik and Perfect People with Stefan Abingdon.
*reference from their parody of Tik Tok by Ke$ha.
**reference from their skit, Walk With Us
Chuck: Dru Wakely is awesomeness, ain't he?
Gabe: Yeah! He scored drugs, bro! He's way cool.
Chuck: You know he's only joking, right?
Gabe: Oh. What about the bit about his dad in Tik Tok?
Chuck: I think that's a joke too... BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER! DRU'S STILL AWESOME!
by saportasuarez April 8, 2010
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wake n bake

basically, to wake up and immediately blaze (smoke marijuana)
by mandy November 2, 2003
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Wake and break

Girlfriend 1: Hey, how's Brad these days?
Girlfriend 2: Good, but the bedroom smelled like the inside of a leper this morning.
Girlfriend 1: Wake and break?
Girlfriend 2: Yep,'fraid so:(
by Eva C. Bowles January 2, 2009
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Wake n' Bake

If you wanna crash here you can. In the morning we'll do a wake n' bake.
by KUSH NOT BUSH June 15, 2008
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