Utica College

One of the worst college institutions in New York. Every team sucks except Women's basketball and sometimes Men's Hockey. Half the population is African-American, the other half is too scared to leave their rooms. 39% of the girls are lesbian, 89% of whats left are ugly. The weather blows, the financial aid sucks, the town it's located in is dead and gone. The Most fun thing to do is 20 minutes away at club Lava. Some Utica clubs are cool too, when they stay open. That is, if you like drugs, illegal operations, guns, knives, and deaths. Sometimes the grass is green, that's a plus. The dorms look like an insane asylum, and someone out of third grade could get accepted here.

5th grader: Mommy, well i ever go to college?

Mom: Don't worry son, there's always Utica College.

5th Grader: Can I play football there?

Mom: anyone with eyes and 2 legs can. You're all set!

by getmeoutofhereeeee May 7, 2010

utica crib

An adult-size restraining bed, this wooden crib was equipped with a lid and was capable of being locked. It was designed in 1845 by Dr. Anabanel of France. In 1846, Dr. Amariah Brigham, the first superintendent of the "New York State Lunatic Asylum" brought the crib to the asylum in Utica, New York. Several modifications were made on the original design and thus the "Utica Crib" was born. The crib was designed in such a way that air could flow freely between the top and sides. The bottom was cushioned with layers of straw. The crib was used in case of "exhaustion" when the physical health of the patient demanded that (s)he be kept in bed. Additionally, the crib could be suspended on chains and rocked to calm the patients. The last remaining Utica Crib was removed from use on January 18, 1887.

Calm down or on in to the Utica Crib you'll go.

by vjesci April 11, 2007

Utica, NY

A place where dreams go to die.

When I left Utica, NY my life got so much better

by ex-Utican June 23, 2010

Utica Club

Liquid Gold. A great brew even when it is lukewarm. One of the few good things about Utica.

"Hey bro, can you pass me a heaven in a can?"

"You mean a Utica Club?"

"Yeah."

by broback January 23, 2014

Utica Aftershave

When someone emits a combination of strong unpleasant odors it can be said that they are wearing Utica aftershave. While these unpleasant odors can vary from person to person, there are chief odors that remain consistent: stale or wet tobacco, alcohol, body odors such as flatulents and sweat and dirty clothes are often trademarks of the "Utica aftershave" aroma. Despite its overt references to the pejoritave, the term often implies fraternal bonding and serves as a reflection of irony all Uticans possess. Utica is often lambasted as the most undesirable city in New York state, and Uticans who are well aware of their inferior status have learned to turn the art of self-deprecation into a form of indirect pride (when they put themselves down it is as if they are saying, "We know we are a sorry lot, but if we excel at anything it's at being a sorry lot").

friend #1: Man, I'm ready to go find some chicks today.
friend #2: Yeah, I can tell you're ready for some action. You got your new shoes on and you're wearing that Utica aftershave.
friend #2: Man, screw you!
friend #1: Dang! You stink.
friend #2: Man, screw you!

friend #1: Man, I stink today. I'm wearing my Utica aftershave.
friend #2: Me too. I didn't wear deodorant so I guess I'm wearing Utica aftershave too.
friend #1: We should distill this odor somehow and market it as Utica aftershave. I bet we could make a million dollars.
friend #2: They would have to sell it in the bad hygiene department.

by Jamallerian October 13, 2007

Utica College

A college that wishes it was a university. It's stuck in the middle of upstate new york. not only does it drain students of their money, but it also does not provide sufficient amount of financial aid. They treat their students like crap. With how cocky the football team is you think they would be able to have a winning season. Utica College really puts the UC in suck.

boy1 I'm going to Utica College in the fall.
boy2 Wow, good luck. It's bad news there.

by pinkcrazypants October 30, 2009

Utica, NY

Wanna be there

Utica, Ny: An Unsolicited Testimonial:
My Brooklyn grandsons, ages 4 and 6, complained to their parents over winter school break:
"Why don't we get to go on cool vacations like the other kids at school?"
"Like where?"
"Like Disney World, or Utica!"

A few things I like here:
good mom and pop restaurants at reasonable prices, affordable housing, New York City first run movies at the museum, good library in New Hartford, skiing right in town!,Saranac Brewing company, the four colleges and their many programs open to city residents,Sculpture Space and its cool parties, the Pratt School affiliation with the Munson Williams Proctor Institute, The Boilermaker Road Race (top 15 k run in America), and Utica's proximity to New York City,Boston, and other major center. Did I mention the great friends to be found in Utica?

by San Franciscan and Utican July 11, 2009