A man who gets off on watching children 24/7 and making a list of Those who are nice, and those who are “naughty” he uses this list to choose his targets and break into their houses. He is often depicted as obese due to the fact that he lives exclusively off of stolen baked goods and dairy products, but in reality he must be RIPPED from all of the walls he scales and he has to be fairly lean in order to squeeze down all those chimneys. Mose people believe he gets around so fast because of a majical slay and a team of flying reign deer with LED noses, but this is very unlikely because he would be so easy to spot. It is much more plausible that the child stalking creep with so many different names is actually riding around in a white van to blend in with the snow and to have room for all of his “gifts” that he’s used to gain children’s trust worldwide! The only question remaining is, “is Santa Claus coming to your town?”
Me: I think I just heard something on the roof!
Macaulay Culkin: I’ll go deal with it.
Me: Wait! It could be Santa Claus!
Macaulay Culkin: Your right... I’ll bring extra bricks.
Me: Good idea! Now go put an end to that creep!
Macaulay Culkin: I’ll go deal with it.
Me: Wait! It could be Santa Claus!
Macaulay Culkin: Your right... I’ll bring extra bricks.
Me: Good idea! Now go put an end to that creep!
by iabast December 25, 2020
Get the Santa Clausmug. by FrootyLoopy June 23, 2020
Get the Santa Clausmug. When parents tell their little kids to not get in trouble or they won't get any fucking presents for x-mas.
m: Bobby, if you kill your sister, Santa Claus won't give you anything for Christmas!!
Bobby: Oh yeah. I want a double bladed axe for x-mas so i'll just have to wait till after.
Bobby: Oh yeah. I want a double bladed axe for x-mas so i'll just have to wait till after.
by bonbonschoolshollyeah December 21, 2019
Get the Santa Clausmug. by The White Parade February 12, 2020
Get the Santa Clausmug. A creepy stalker who watches children 24/7 and makes a “naughty list” the uses this list to choose which children’s houses to break into and steal milk and baked goods, which undoubtedly contributes to his obesity. We don’t know much about him, but this old (probably in his 1000s) creep has gained the trust of children worldwide. The only question is, “Is Santa Claus coming to your town?”
Me: Hey, I just heard something on the roof!
Macaulay Culkin: I’ll go get em.
Me: but what if it’s Santa Claus?
Macaulay Culkin: You’re right... I’ll bring extra bricks!
Me: good thinking! Now go put an end to that creep!
Macaulay Culkin: I’ll go get em.
Me: but what if it’s Santa Claus?
Macaulay Culkin: You’re right... I’ll bring extra bricks!
Me: good thinking! Now go put an end to that creep!
by iabast December 25, 2020
Get the Santa Clausmug. A variation on the Captain Blackbeard maneuver.
The Santa Claus is a sexual act in which a person is anally fucking their partner, and then they pull out and begin to give a rim job. Their partner, a gassy individual, farts all of the accumulated cum into the face of the rim job giver.
The resulting appearance is a white beard resembling Santa Claus.
The Santa Claus is a sexual act in which a person is anally fucking their partner, and then they pull out and begin to give a rim job. Their partner, a gassy individual, farts all of the accumulated cum into the face of the rim job giver.
The resulting appearance is a white beard resembling Santa Claus.
Bob and Tom were having butt sex. Tom started to give Bob a rim job, and Bob gave Tom the Santa Claus
by oc3powerline March 30, 2010
Get the The Santa Clausmug. A criminal mind who breaks into your house every Christmas eve eats your cookies drinks your milk and leaves mysteriously wrapped boxes under a tree in your house and shoves your socks full of random stuff
by Cthulhuyyy December 12, 2018
Get the Santa Clausmug.