Assturbating

Playing with your own bunghole strictly for pleasure and personal gain.

Johnny was in the bathroom for hours on end , assturbating until the gentle sunrise caressed the horizon.

by stxnthamix October 11, 2015

masterbating

when you wank huh huh huh

when you softly caress your boner when thinking of or in front of a girl/boy (you fucking gays)until you proceed to "shoot the load"

by sir wankalot May 8, 2003

ferociously masterbating

beating your meat so hard that it would appear that you were about to rip it off

Dan masterbated so ferociously that he started bleeding

by Laurier November 24, 2004

verbally masterbating

When one talks about himself to a second party as being better than the rest of the population. While it is said to someone else, it is really just intended for the person to hear out loud how "awesome" they are. May be done out of deep-seated insecurity.

Matt: "I am going to be the most awesome lawyer. I am just a really compelling speaker blah blah blah"
Other people later: "Goddamn Matt was verbally masterbating so much there might be chafing."

by yeah April 13, 2003

assturbating

Masturbating by fingering your anus.

Jack: Dude, I so got laid last night!

Jim: What happened?

Jack: Well, I was at a party, and I walked into a room and I caught Lisa assturbating. So I asked her if I could join and we totally got it on!

by Vinchenzonaughti March 3, 2008

amsturbating

legalized narcotics meets self pleasure

Sorry I'm late, I was amsturbating.

by lizzydoodle November 19, 2007

masterbating

(verb/Adv.) to bat masterfully during either a cricket or a baseball game.

Game commentator: Did you see that HOME RUN, that was out of this WORLD. This truly is masterful batsmanship.
Me: No, this is just masterbating .

by mambassenpai November 12, 2014