Grandfather Poops

The hot, uncontrollable poops you have the day after a long night of drinking.

That large consumption of Jack Daniels last night gave me the grandfather poops. It's hard for me to sit down after that one.

by ggntjs September 10, 2009

Your grandfather bisexual

This is one of, if not the, strongest "ur *relative* *LGBTQ+ trait* sentences around. Saying this will not only vaporize the person you were talking to, but have very bad effects on anybody around. People very nearby (5-10 feet) will die or (at 10 feet) fall into a coma. At 11-25 feet, people will contract pontentially fatal diseases and get radiation poisoning. At 26-35 feet, people will have lesser diseases, like diarrhea or hiccups and some radiation poisoning. At 36-50 feet, people will get a tiny amount of radiation poisoning and get a cold or the flu. At 50 to 150 feet, people will feel the shockwave of you saying "your grandfather bisexual", and feel as though you had just insulted them personally. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

Joe: We could have avoided all the radiation fallout of the nukes in WW2 if we had just sent them a letter saying "your grandfather bisexual".
Wyatt: NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

(Wyatt is dispersed throughout the known universe.)
(Everyone within 150 feet feels the effects of Joe saying "Your grandfather bisexual".
(Joe gets 5000 life sentences with no parole from the President of the United States.)

by Rennie22 March 12, 2018

Grandfather Clock

The Grandfather Clock, also referred to as 'the Grandfather's Cock, is an intricate sexual act in which two men of roughly the same height suspend a woman of smaller stature upside down by her her ankles, swinging her back and forth onto each others erections like an erotic pendulum; the flesh hand of the world famous Grandfather Clock. With each 'swing of the clock', the woman of interest is penetrated from both the front and behind (commonly mistaken for a war on two fronts), alternating holes with each pleasurable sway. The partners in crime swinging the woman to and fro are each assigned a specific hole for their genitals to call home, depending on the directions of their erections, of course. The irony of this sexual act is that the participants will be so invested in reaching such a chronological level of ecstasy that their perception of time will fleet, and when they've finally finished, they'll realize that what felt like minutes of sensual fun was actually hours of tireless thrusting. The grandfather clock can make the best of the times out of the worst of times, but if executed improperly, it can make the best of times into an embarrassing trip to the emergency room (take it from me; I didn't know the penis could sprain until I fell victim to the grandfather clock's sensual wrath). While the clean up may be a disaster, it will have been well worth it afterwards; the benefits will come the second you do.

Dillan was thrilled upon discovering that his grandparents had a grand father clock, a fun loving crime of passion, in their living room. His excitement faded when he found out that there were no actual clocks in the room, and his grandparents were frantically undressing behind him. Dillan soon discovered the true meaning of a grandfather clock as the second hand struck midnight.

by Romantic Ron November 28, 2018

grandfather tit residue

The residue on and around the nipple of a grandfather.

Yale has a disturbing jar filled two thirds with grandfather tit residue on his kitchen table.

by tittysauces July 13, 2009

grandfather loaf

An enormous turd.

"Dude, come look at the majestic Grandfather Loaf I just left in the toilet!"

by the Red Raptor April 16, 2014

grandfather hair

A man’s longest pubic hair, the one that started to grow in first. For girls, this would be their grandmother hair.

Traditionally cut off and eaten in a last meal in specific First Nations culture, in soup or stew to celebrate the growth and life of the individual. In First Nations culture they call it Igrabaara (longevity follicle).

Example 1

Girl: Let’s get freaky tonight, babe!
Boy: Then you’ve gotta bite off my grandfather hair!
Girl: Yes, daddy! I’ll do anything you say!

Example 2

Our grandpa, Ikiiolio, is celebrating his final hours tonight, and is having his Igrabaara stew for dinner, as part of tradition.

by weenielover1939 April 14, 2019

grandfather paradox

The grandfather paradox is a paradox of time travel in which inconsistencies emerge through changing the past.

Everyone: What is Grandfather Paradox?

Me: Something like you go back in time and kill your grandfather so that you won’t exist in time.

by anonymous December 16, 2020