Carusoism

Noun: Any comical yet retarded one-liner used for the sole purpose of mocking David Caruso of CSI: Miami.

Carusoisms are generally initiated by stating the first line with an upwardly skewed pitch, pausing to place aviators over the Carusoist's eyes. Ultimately, after a minuscule pause, a witty completion that ties the beginning words is uttered. Afterwards, the Carusoist is forced to quickly depart the area to the tune of "Won't Get Fooled Again" by the Who.

Without debate, the most vital step is the playing of "Wont Get Fooled Again" at the line completion, which completely validates the Carusoism.

CSI: Miami always opens with a Carusoism.
Man: Maybe he took off.
Caruso: Or maybe... *Put aviators on*...He got taken for a ride.
THEME: YEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHUHHHH.
*Swiftly exit the room.*

by Scott Jund, Casey Leister, DJ Hawkes, Mike Nickler July 1, 2008

cactus balls

The effect of not having shaved your usually clean shaven testicles for enough time that they grow short unwanted stubs.

Man, I have cactus balls, and it itches like hell.

by DirtyMexcian October 1, 2010

Catastroboother

Noun: an individual who persistently presents situations as vastly worse than they actually are, to a degree that is almost indistinguishable from satire. Serial catastroboothers are seldom seen in the workplace, because they are just soooooo ill aaaaallll the tiiiime.

Doctor: Can you please rate the pain out of ten?
Catastroboother: Three hundred and seventy two.
Doctor: Seriously, though?
Catastroboother: I am being serious.
Doctor: Please go home.

Helga’s tendency to catastrobooth her workload at the sausage emporium led her to report 170 hours of labour per week. The log book showed she was actually in for a weekly average of 92 minutes.

by Lancaster's Second Finest January 19, 2020

Dry Cactus

one who doesn't put out; someone who, when in a relationship, refuses to engage in PDA; a public prude;

I hear Dori is a dry cactus with her boyfriend

by washyohands March 11, 2011

catastrophize

to hyper-imagine negative outcomes to a situation that have no basis in reality. to blow setbacks or problems out of proportion such that you sprial into an emotional catastrophe.

Joe sat, stuck in traffic, and he began to catastrophize missing delivering the perfect sales pitch, losing the commission that he planned to spend on his new outfit that he would wear to the club to meet the perfect girl. He fell into despair as he realized how pointless his life was because of the traffic.

by ballistickitten August 17, 2008

you need a cactus up your ass

maggie needs a cactus up her ass.

One who deserves pain in the gluteus Maximus such as the person (maggie) who needs to be told, you need a cactus up your ass

by Cactus:) February 11, 2015

Down Catastrophic

A more severe/extreme version of Down Bad or Down Horrendous. The term is usually used to describe someone who hasn't had a significant other or a hookup in a very long time and is just downright desperate for literally anyone at this point so that they can experience love, lust, affection, and everything in between.

Marie: "Hey, isn't this boy cute?" *Shows picture of HIDEOUS boy*
Stacie: *Throws up* "Ew Marie! You are definitely down catastrophic!"
Moral of the story is, don't get to a point where you're down catastrophic.

by KyeKage February 17, 2021