Fuckton

A futon that you fuck on a ton.

Hey babe, wanna come over and try out some new positions on my Fuckton?

by FreencheeFrench May 24, 2009

Fuckton of Condoms

the amount of condoms needed to fuck a metric ton of women

"Dude, for this party tonight I'm gonna need a fuckton of condoms."

by layinpipe16 October 12, 2011

Nautical Metric Fuckton

An amount exceeding the limit of imagination or, more realistically, greatly exceeding expectations.

I have a nautical metric fuckton of things to do today, I wasn't expecting all of this on my plate.

by Voideater October 5, 2011

metric fuckton

a large amount of anything or more locally know as a 20 sack of weed

"hey man let me get a metric fuckton of weed" "sure man 35$"

by sean. December 3, 2007

Fuckton

A unit of measurement used to denote 100 shitloads: 1 Metric Fuckton = 100 Shitloads.

Skyler, are you coming over with the beer? I have a shitload of people over here, it’s like 20 folks waiting.

Bryce, I’m on my way, don’t worry. I got a fuckton of beer! I have at least 2000 cans bro. Chill.

by FreeGame July 4, 2021

fuckton

A fuckton is 2000 dry hump pounds or 2k dh lbs. Since dry humping requires the same effort of force and resistance to gravity as lifting any amount of ass mass at 1.0 g at sea level as free of ass mass does at 1.0g at sea level scientific conversion of fucktons to metric fucktons uses the same conversion constant value as tons converted to metric tons. In the United States if you put a metric fuckton of wet clothes in a dryer rated in regular fucktons at sea level your clothes will not dry in the specified amount of time for said fuckton value. You'll just be dry humping for much longer than you estimated...

"I knew I shouldn't have put a metric fuckton of wet clothes in the dryer.. It's only able to handle a single fuckton. I'm definitely going to be dry humping it out the door now."

by Tokensei December 15, 2022

Fuckton

Noun.
A measurement to large to be defined by finite means
Or

An insurmountable or unattainable differential

Dude, the Broncos are losing by a fuckton; there’s no way they’ll ever come back!

Quit jacking around! We’ve got a fuckton off work to do!

by MJ82 October 7, 2018