john status

The act of getting so incredibly drunk you are able to pass out in any position

Bro #1: Did you see John after the party?
Bro #2: Yeah he was so drunk he looked like he was gonna hit John status.

by mcjenks May 8, 2014

John James Autobahn

A famous painter who loved to create magnificent detailed and colorful artwork-renderings of the different makes/models of zippy cars that traverse Germany's high-speed motorways.

Like his well-known feathered-friend-image-painting counterpart, John James Autobahn's one big regret about his work was that he was obliged to bring to a stop and park each of the speedy cars that he "captured on canvas", so that said "subject" vehicle would stay still for him to scrutinize its minute features and reproduce them with his pigments. John was famously known as"the boy who hated garages" --- he felt that these man-made and "confining" monstrosities were all so hideously ugly, and that the fast and nimble "light on their wheels" vehicles he loved were so much more beautiful and delightful to observe when they were out roaming and racing about, just as free as the air they passed through.

by QuacksO April 27, 2019

Johning

Johning is a term often used in the crypto space to describe someone (a typical John) who holds their position and does not sell.

The term was first used in the blockchain community "Crypto Hub".

Leo was johning although Bitcoin achieved a new ATH.

by TH210 January 6, 2024

Floppy Johns

When one’s testicles are so large they flop around and move independently of one another.

DAMN!! Them floppy johns are whimsical!!

by Rob The Slumlord November 13, 2023

William John Mallabone

Well, what can we say ladies and gentlemen. This man here defies the laws of chads. Only studs can be given this name.

Gosh you're so handsome and fit, what's your name? William John Mallabone.

by CertiChadFinder101 November 24, 2021

John Willing

A douche that will break a girl's heart.

Stephanie: Hey have you met john willing yet?
Miranda: Yeah! He's a total douche! He told my sister to give him a bj and then left!
Stephanie: Wow, what a cunt!

by Shelbitch November 25, 2013

John

The total dumb ass that eats your bagel

Richard: What the frickle frackal why are you eating my bagel?!
John: YEET

by John_will_eat_your_bagel May 17, 2020