Monkey Wank

Pleasuring oneself with the feet, whilst swinging in a tyre.

I'm off home for a banana, a few nuts and a monkey wank.

by Borthers February 21, 2007

Wank Bullet

When you have watched porn on someones computer without their permission and they find out. Your friend takes the blame and says they have a wanking problem.

John: Fred I lent you my computer the over day and found a video of a gay gang bang.

Fred: It wasn't me.

Clive: It was my fault fred popped out for a coffee and I was watching it. I have a wanking disorder and I knock one out 12 times a day.

(John leaves)

Clive: I just took a wank bullet for you.

by jimmy0121 October 6, 2009

Angry wank

Wanking while furiously angry usually highly aggressively and to the detriment of everyone else on the bus. Mostly over an ex girlfriend/boyfriend who has cheated on you or given you an STD, which when combined with your sweat, blood and tears adds a delightful burning sensation. Can lead to serious erosion of the penis, which in turn can cause Wankers callous, Knob Drop or Gripsy

Dude, i was thinking about marla last night and i had such an angry wank that i left my cock looking like a candle stick holder.

She left her dog here after we broke up so i angry wanked and came blood into its eye.

by Goatlinggun December 24, 2008

wank stain

A person who is a complete and uter twat!!

"Fuck u bill, your such a fucking wank stain!"

by clarky-05 April 9, 2005

Table Wank

A stealthy act where one tries to catch a beat at the table without being noticed.

So I was over at my friends place for dinner and I totally table wanked while they cut the cheese.

by Jaswern February 24, 2010

danger wank

masturbating, but in such a way that you are very likely to get caught.
Increasing the thrill by trying to finish cranking one off before you are caught

Geoff, fancying a danger wank, stood in his mum's bathroom,leaving the door open, grasped his throbbing member and shouted "Mum!"

by jamfsob August 12, 2003

wank off

To masturbate, hold the hot dog, however you want to say it - for a man to give himself sexual pleasure. It may also be used as the object of the sentence, if a woman or gay man holds their partner's genitals in a position to make them cum.

I wank off when I think about fucking Sophia.

by GuidoPosse69 February 8, 2005