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Switch Monkey

A guy or girl that may be very attractive one day and floor-ugly the next.
I saw crazy Stacy at the bar on Wednesday and she was looking rough, then Saturday I asked for her number not even knowing it was her. That's a switch monkey for you.
by dunbfore June 23, 2010
mugGet the Switch Monkeymug.

cell monkey

A person who is ostensibly unable to walk, chew gum, sit, eat, drink, sleep, work, shop, drive, breathe, take a crap, or accomplish any other task commonly performed with or without opposable digits, unless a cell phone is inexorably attached to the side of their head.

This person is typically oblivious to almost all stimuli around them including any carbon-based life forms, merging traffic, lights at intersections, toll booth gates, falling pianos, the cashier in front of them, the check-out line behind them, the person they've just walked in front of, the inappropriateness of their loud phone rants, or anything else involving sight, sound or smell (such as the fungus slowly growing on the mouth and ear piece of the greasy device).

Ironically, it has been shown that when placed in a room with other family members and friends, but without the cellular appliance, this person has alarmingly little to say to any of them. This time spent communicating face to face has been estimated to be a mere fraction of the corresponding period spent talking to the same people through the device, and at great and perpetual urgency.
Get off the phone and drive cell monkey.

It's your turn dumbass! STFU and write the check or run your debit. This store has gotta ban the freaking cell monkeys in checkout lines?

Hey cell monkey, your fly is open and you're standing in front of the forklift.
by idiot emptor April 24, 2009
mugGet the cell monkeymug.

Monkey Arm

A well-formed turd that is long enough to wrap around.
She got to the toilet just in time to pinch off a foot-long steaming monkey arm.
by Garbage Heap August 1, 2020
mugGet the Monkey Armmug.

Procrastination monkey

A lazy person who often procrastinates and delays their work, often eats bananas and other fruits shaped like a planetarium to stay big and strong.
Johnny: Mike is such a procrastination monkey, he has big dreams that he wants to achieve yet he's just laying there on his couch doing nothing to reach them.
David: I think he has schizophrenia! Give him the pills Johnny!
by CookieLikeABookie January 4, 2023
mugGet the Procrastination monkeymug.

Girth Monkeys

Used when referring to a large set of breasts.
A: Damn dude did you see Jayce’s Girth monkeys last night?!
B: Yeah dude they were buckin!
by Giggittygiggitygoo February 9, 2019
mugGet the Girth Monkeysmug.

Tech Monkey

Someone who is really interested and passionate about technology. Not to be confused with "code monkey".
Geoff: "Hey nice Android Phone, does it have the 2.2 update yet?" Allison: "No idea, it's just a phone, you're such a Tech Monkey."
by Gee.... November 21, 2010
mugGet the Tech Monkeymug.

stoop monkey

Most likely involving members of the black community "posted up" on their front steps...or "stoop". Usually for a duration of time longer than the normal 8-hour workday. Most likely dressed in white-T's, sometimes involving brown paper bagged 40's, and occassionally joints behind the ear.
"You would not believe how many stoop monkeys are out today"
by K&M est. 2003 August 19, 2008
mugGet the stoop monkeymug.

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