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Soccer Mom Photographer

The slippery slope of becoming a wannabe "Pro Photographer" that starts with the rule of 1 in 1,000.

With the advent of digital slr cameras for under $500 every mom with a camera takes 1,000 pictures of their child, 1 of those pictures is pretty good and when shown to a friend or family member she hears the golden words "that shot is great...you have a real knack for photography" and so the journey begins.

Without any inkling of ISO, shutter speed, aperture, color balance, lighting, composition...any thought at all (AUTO EVERYTHING) mom thinks she has actual talent.

Through the marketing avenues of friends she books a few gigs shooting babies on bedsheets with gerber daisies, wearing funny colorful hats, hanging in cheese cloth, hands shaped in the form of hearts on expecting bellies, bad lighting, composition and exposure, but the ability to "sell it as art" since she's now a pro shooter.

1.) Images way to photoshopped, skintones are blown out, yellow, way to saturated.

2.) Won't give you a receipt since hubby is the bread winner and doesn't claim her income, it's tax free money under the table.

3.) Uses pirated photoshop.

4.) All the comments on their "mommy photo blog" are posted by the same 10 people every post with generic comments like "OMG, SO CUTE!!!!" or "Lisa, you are SO talented, OMG!!!" It's pretty much a must to have multiple exclamation points OMG! All comments must be dripping with unbelievable back patting ooze.
How was your session? I forgot all of my equipment at the studio so I just soccer mom'd it.

Wow, uuum, those images are really something? Yeah, I went to a soccer mom photographer. We didn't have the money for a professional photographer.

Those pictures look like my mom took them! That's because we used a soccer mom photographer.
by stinkbuttboy February 17, 2010
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Social Distortion

One of the few surviving punk bands out of OC in California. Came out in 1978 with Mike Ness, Casey Royer, Rikk and Frank Agnew. Through many changes in the lineup SD pushed the spirit of true punk through rough times.

Mainly sing about problems of bad luck, run down, drug abused life, seeing as thats how it was for Ness. Best Songs were mommys little monster, Ball and chain, story of my life, Dont drag me down and few others. They have refused to change their style of music, thus making them one of the best punk bands ever.

The line up now is Ness, Charlie Quintana, Jonny "2 Bags" Wickersham, and Matt Freeman of Rancid.
RIP Dennis Danell.
Social distortion is a punk band true to its roots!
by The Real Wolf December 28, 2005
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Related Words

sockrifice

A sockrifice occurs when a person runs out of toilet paper and is forced to use a spare sock to wipe one's bum.
Dude, we ran out of teeps yesterday and this morning I had to peform a sockrifice.
by The Colonel July 18, 2003
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Tumblr social justice activist

A tumblr blogger that may blame men, white people, skinny people, attractive people, and almost anything for oppressing them and making the world a worse place. Does not seem to engage in any activity that relates to any actual activism, prefers to judge everyone else loudly and type up possibly fictional stories about how they were 'oppressed' that day. Age demographic varies from teens to middle aged adults, mostly females.

Warning: May go off on rage fueled rants about perceived privilege among other things. Do not attempt to reason with it, logic has given way to just feelings alone.
So I went to hang out with an old friend of mine recently and things were going well until I mentioned one of my favorite TV shows, Wilfred. She started going off about how Jason Gann (Wilfred) was sexist and supported rape. I was obviously shocked and in disbelief. She started going on and on about rape culture, white privilege, male privilege, and it was all she could talk about for quite a while. Then she asked me if I had a Tumblr. It turns out that she turned into what some people called a "Tumblr social justice activist".
by simpleconundrum September 27, 2013
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Social Band-Aid

A policy, program, or collective act that is meant to cure the ills of society, but usually falls well short of achieving it's goal by failing to understand the root of the problem.
Our goal is not only to provide the necessary food to those without, as that is applying a social Band-Aid to a very grave issue. We are committed to education and raising awareness, creating a new methodology for ending hunger.
by endlesst0m384 February 21, 2009
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dry socket

pure hell which sets in a couple of days after a tooth extraction; usually wisdom teeth.

if your surgeon applies too much force when removing the teeth you are more likely to encounter this; it involves the bare jaw bone being exposed-- alowing bacteria and air to come in contact with it, causing pain that is unstopable by normal means such as Vicodin or Valium.
i was feeling fine after surgery then i got dry socket and now i just whence in pain all day.
by Zhen July 24, 2006
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SocMed

The abbreviation of the word 'Social Media'
I really love reading socmed aus on twitter, especially those who are about The Boyz
by kyunguwu October 2, 2020
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