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Crusty Snowman

When a particularly hairy male ejaculates onto their own chest hairs and allows it to dry. This allows for someone to clean the snowman.
When Margaret’s sexy DILF took off his shirt revealing he was a crusty snowman I almost came in my pants, yearning to clean up his mess.
by EternalEmailingSystem January 15, 2021
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Crusty Gers

Noun Informal

Crusty Gers - (derived from Greek: ῥεῦμα, Old Man Kelly-juice, a dried cum-like substance) is a filthy mucus-like discharge substance found on the eyes typically after sleep. It is thought to be contracted through contact with an elderly Kildare man who visits victims during their sleep
'Here, was old man Kelly here last night?'

-'Don't think so man, why?'

'I've just got the nastiest crusty gers in my eyes this morning, he must of got me while I was asleep!'
by GersCrustInYourEyes October 30, 2013
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Crusty Kumquat

When you have a cyst on your penis. It may ooze out orange puss.
Ugh, I have a crusty kumquat!
by Legendaryurbanchirps June 22, 2011
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Crusty Sausage

When a male masturbates and ejaculates and intentionally allows the semen drip down the penis and does not make an attempt to clean up. Resulting in a dry shriveled semen-flaked penis.
Jake: Bro I was jerking off last night. Ejaculated and created the most disgusting Crusty Sausage.
Donovan: That's pretty gross dude.
Jake: Whatever.
by EnigmaActivate February 15, 2017
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Crusty Fiend

1. One who is filthy, grimy, and fiends for an object(s); possesing a strong desire for drugs, money, any sort of vice or source of pleasure.

2. To be described as a fiend one must be both crust covered and fiendly beyond normal human levels of fiendliness or crustendom.
Child: Hey look at that guy over there; he is really strange.

Mom: Son watch out for crusty fiends like that; they can be dangerous.
by Phyllis Brownwood September 13, 2010
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Crusty Jebus

A new strain of highly contagious fast acting STI, consisting of dried mucus around the genitalia. Very commonly spread in party’s set in the 80s.
Johnny gave Sandy his crusty jebus last night
by Hugh_jackmeoff October 7, 2018
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crusty carrot

Friend: so did you guys have sex?
Girl: Ewww no he had a dirty penis... He is just a crusty carrot I felt bad for.
by ThatChyGirl April 9, 2016
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