Pre-Bearding

To prepare the face/existing facial hair for future beardage

"Dude, are you doing no-shave November?" "Yeah man, but I've got to do some pre-bearding on this goatee first."

"Are you trying to grow a beard?" "Why yes I am, but first I have to pre-beard this part because it takes forever to get long."

by thebeardmeister September 23, 2011

Vaginal Beard

when female reproductive organs contain so much hair that if you cut it all off you could glue it to a viking's face and it would pass as a normal beard.

That sally girl got her vaginal beard all in my teeth!

by Johnny Cock-knocker June 17, 2012

Fecal Beard

When someone doesn't wash their hands after pooping and then puts their hands on your face.

Sally, please don't rub the stubble on my face if you haven't washed your hands after going #2, because you've now given me a fecal beard and I have to disinfect my face.

by jennacola March 8, 2013

catnip beard

A man's beard that is so attractive women (or men) cannot control their impulse to touch, stroke, or rub themselves against it, similar to how cats find catnip irresistible.

Foley's got a real catnip beard; whenever I see him I just can't keep my hands off of it!

by figurista June 7, 2014

Dragon-Beard

A sad, wilted foreskin, caused by having too little of your foreskin removed at birth, resembling that of a dragons beard depicted in ancient Japanese paintings.

Dude, how long has it been since you've scrubbed that dick jacket? That dragon-beard's so stanky i can smell it from the kitchen.

by TheRealFrankieMuniz December 24, 2016

Goat beard

Noun

A woman who has straight pubic hair, thereby resembling a goat's beard.

Synonyms: pubes, pubic hair.

#pubes #mons pubis #vulva #yoni

"My hair down there is so straight, it looks like a goat beard.

by Aurora Blew March 11, 2017

zombie-beard

A combination of zombie apocalypse and neck beard. It it well known that neckbeards are obsessed with the collapse of society, so they fantasize about some kind of apocalypse. The thing is that most neck beards are either extremely over or underweight there for extremely unathlectic, so in the extremely unlikely events of an apocalypse they will most likely be the ones to die first for obvious reason. I’ll give them credit that they usually know a lot about survival, but that’s about it. There are three main reasons why they have this mindset.
1) They don’t have the social skills to fit into normal society

2) There are no marriage laws so they can force a fair maiden to court them and be some kind of white knight
3) They think their gonna be Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead or maybe even a Daryl, but in reality they’re most likely a Eugene

4) They think they will somehow out live all the athletes and chads
In the end why the hell would anyone want anything a horrible as some kind of apocalypse to happen. I mean seeing all your loved ones get eaten and die that’s just plain awful.

Yes people like this actually exist
Zombie-beard: I’m so ready for the apocalypse I have all my katanas and machine guns!
“Chad”: How will you outrun them? You’re 300lbs?
Zombie-beard: I won’t run like a coward I’ll kill them all! You ignorant simpleton!
“Chad”: Whatever man.
*zombie outbreak*
“Chad”: Oh shit! Run!
Zombie-beard: *gets eaten* AHHHHH! NO! THIS IS NOT HOW IT TURNS OUT IN MY THE WALKING DEAD FAN-FICTIONS MAGGIE WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE GLENN FOR A REAL GENTLEMAN LIKE MEEE!!1!
Maggie: Who is that guy?
Glenn: No idea

by Thequeenofbasicbitchery October 28, 2017