My uncle Jack's off

A very funny "childrens" book written by Bo nehr, that includes multiple references to "Veiny Necked Birds", "Big Hairy Sacks", and "White Sticky Trails". The title of the book can be misleading to some, so to clarify, the apostrophe between the K and the S is replacing the letter I, so the title of the book is actually "My Uncle Jack IS Off", for all you dirty minded schlongs out there

"I just read My Uncle Jack's Off, and laughed my shitties out!"

by StarSoupMan June 28, 2023

Jack Bauer Power Shower

A super quick shower that Jack Bauer is forced to fit into a commercial break along with a Jack Bauer Power Dump during 24, as to not miss out on any of the terrorist ass-kicking.

I had to take a Jack Bauer Power Shower to clean the terrorist blood off me before my date.

by terroristasskicker February 17, 2010

Jack-n-Jill Party

A masturbation event which includes male and female participants engaging in solo and/or mutual manual sexual stimulation.

Dude! Ronda went out of her way to give each guy a handjob at last night's Jack-n-Jill party.

by drplastic December 16, 2008

Nut Swinging Apple Jack

Someone who gets away with doing little or no time for a crime they committed.

The jury got bad instructions he's out on the street like a Nut Swinging Apple Jack

by 14 Bag Bundle August 6, 2016

Hit Up My Jack

Generally meaning cellular device or sometimes even the home phone. Origins unknown, but sources believe that term came from the magicJack.

Average White Boy: Yo, you good?
Homeboy: Im about to pick up.
Average White Boy: Aight, good looks.
Homeboy: Give me ten, then hit up my jack.
Average White Boy: .......(Astonished In Amazement)

by Good Samaritan. October 29, 2010

Jack Bauer Power Hour

Jack Bauer Power Hour (aka the best damn time of the week) occurs monday nights (or any other time of the week as long as you have an episode of 24, including commercial break (so you get the full 60 minutes)) where a shot of beer is taken for every minute Jack is in the field. If Jack is in the field kicking ass and putting his life on the line to save the US, we can at least show some respect by drinking some beer. God Bless Jack Bauer.

Hot Chick: Hey babe, wanna come out with me and my sorority girlfriends Monday night for some drinks?
Man: Fuck that, 24 is on and I have Jack Bauer Power Hour. Besides, sorority chicks are bitches.

by SneakyFoot March 2, 2010

Crack er' Jack

Nice ass: very lovable: awesomely cute: 6 pack horse!

Man, this horse is a true Crack er' Jack!

I love you Crack er' Jack!

by Brandi June 7, 2003