urkel glasses

Glasses defined as having at a minimum 1" thick glass, large dimension lenses treated with duralumin, which is accompanied by eyeglass cord made from leftover weave

Eyeglasses that fit the description but are not coated in duralumin do not qualify as "Urkel Glasses" as they will not reflect any semen back at the original shooter

"Urkel Glasses" were originally designed to protect oneself from a being shot in the eyes with semen. Many people prior to 1989 needed to have their eyes removed after many an unplanned ejaculatory mess.

To date, 3,742,635,864 eyes have been saved by "Urkel Glasses"

Jim - "Let me know when you're gonna blow your load"
Lou - "...OK...here I come"
Jim - "WAIT, I need my Urkel Glasses!!!!"
Lou - "There's no time for that!"
Jim - "OWWW MY EYES!!!"
Lou - "Oh well, guess you should have put on your Urkel Glasses"

by Captain Cosby Sweater March 7, 2014

The Glass test

A timed 2 mile fitness test that must be completed in under 16 minutes! This test is done mostly in relation to soccer preseason fitness!

Coach I want to get in shape! Can we run the glass test all the time please!?

by Total-ninety January 13, 2014

fast glasses

When the glasses make you feel like you are always at a high speed.

“Bro these are some fast glasses!”
“What do you mean fast?”
“Like I’m moving at unpaceable rate.”

by Datboichargin March 22, 2019

Glass ceiling

A more accepted and commonly used version of the sexual act of a Cleveland steamer- the 1st party will willingly hold or place seran wrap extremely close, if not on their face. The 2nd party will drop their trousers, and defecate on the seran wrap, thereby creating all of the alleged sensual fun and none of the obvious mess. From the 1st party's point, it will be like looking at one of the great mysterious pleasures of life through a glass ceiling.

"Come on Tonya, I've always wanted to try the Cleveland steamer"
"No John, I don't have enough towels. Let's try the glass ceiling for starters and see how we like"
"That's fair"

by Susy Saunders June 17, 2023

Heaven in a Glass

3/4 Premium Grape Vodka
1/4 Red Bull
Can be served with or without ice.

This heaven in a glass, got me feeling so lifted like an angel.

by Mr. Gemini Jones July 18, 2011

glass ceiling

A level within the managerial hierarchy beyond which very few women and minorities advance.

Women and minorities have had problems winning promotions to senior management positions due to the glass ceiling.

by gipperee September 11, 2004

glass shoes

84's, swangers, etc.

Ridin' wood and yella, glass shoes like cinderella

by topdola September 22, 2006