by oblebrun June 14, 2023
Get the Lamb's Cress mug.by Shorty mcfuckstick March 8, 2023
Get the Dirty lamb skin mug.What an anxious/impatient youngster would logically want to know in instances when his parent promises a certain action/food/relief/entertainment "in two shakes of a lamb's tail".
Cranky child: "Are we there yet?!"
Parent driving (cheerfully): "Oh, no worries --- we'll be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail!"
Cranky child: "But how often does the lamb shake its tail?! Oh, sure --- a NORMAL AND ALERT lamb probably "flutters its little stumpy thing" quite regularly, but if the lamb is asleep or not feeling chipper, its behind-flipper might not move much at all, and so it might take HOURS for it to jiggle even ONCE, let alone TWICE!"
Parent driving (cheerfully): "Oh, no worries --- we'll be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail!"
Cranky child: "But how often does the lamb shake its tail?! Oh, sure --- a NORMAL AND ALERT lamb probably "flutters its little stumpy thing" quite regularly, but if the lamb is asleep or not feeling chipper, its behind-flipper might not move much at all, and so it might take HOURS for it to jiggle even ONCE, let alone TWICE!"
by QuacksO July 10, 2024
Get the But how often does the lamb shake its tail?! mug.1. A popular horror movie about a young F.B.I. cadet has to use the the help of an incarcerated and manipulative cannibal killer to help catch another serial killer, a madman who skins his victims.
2. See "Pit Guy" popularized by How I Met Your Mother
2. See "Pit Guy" popularized by How I Met Your Mother
by scpalmetto August 13, 2024
Get the Silence Of The Lambs mug.
The Australian version of Instagram, where you only get bot pages, porn advertisements and animals being mauled to death.
Canadian Guy: "Looks like Instagram is recommending my new band's page to people, nice."
Australian Guy: "Really? All I get are bot promotions and animals being mauled to death."
Canadian Guy: "That's the thing, I'm on Instagram, you're on Shit and Lamb."
Australian Guy: "Really? All I get are bot promotions and animals being mauled to death."
Canadian Guy: "That's the thing, I'm on Instagram, you're on Shit and Lamb."
by The Moist Critic February 10, 2023
Get the Shit and Lamb mug.From the vantage point of a rational human with functioning gustatory papillae, a lamb dinner is the gastronomic equivalent of getting kicked in the testicles (some people find it enjoyable, but I cannot for the life of me understand why).
Imagine, if you will, meat that tastes like it’s been marinated in dirty old sweaters, perfumed with a hint of petting zoo, and garnished with the toxic secretions of a cane toad. The consumption of lamb is less a meal and more an elaborate prank gone wrong.
The texture? A true paradox. Somehow it is both sinewy and gelatinous, as though the animal was full of despair and sadness before its untimely demise. And the smell, how in tarnation can it smell that foul? The stench wafts through a home like the ghost of livestock past, assaulting the olfactory senses of every poor soul who is in the vicinity.
Supposed connoisseurs will wax poetic about its “earthy richness” or “rich, robust, and well-balanced flavor” which, when translated to honest English, means “sweaty mutton disguised as fine dining”. It is not “rich,” it is despicable; it is not “robust,” but a belligerent assault on the taste buds.
Lamb should only be served if your guests have wronged you terribly or if you have lost all hope in the potential of food bringing you, or others, joy.
In conclusion, lamb as a dish is best served NEVER. It is a betrayal of the palate, a disgrace to the kitchen, and a compelling argument for vegetarianism.
Imagine, if you will, meat that tastes like it’s been marinated in dirty old sweaters, perfumed with a hint of petting zoo, and garnished with the toxic secretions of a cane toad. The consumption of lamb is less a meal and more an elaborate prank gone wrong.
The texture? A true paradox. Somehow it is both sinewy and gelatinous, as though the animal was full of despair and sadness before its untimely demise. And the smell, how in tarnation can it smell that foul? The stench wafts through a home like the ghost of livestock past, assaulting the olfactory senses of every poor soul who is in the vicinity.
Supposed connoisseurs will wax poetic about its “earthy richness” or “rich, robust, and well-balanced flavor” which, when translated to honest English, means “sweaty mutton disguised as fine dining”. It is not “rich,” it is despicable; it is not “robust,” but a belligerent assault on the taste buds.
Lamb should only be served if your guests have wronged you terribly or if you have lost all hope in the potential of food bringing you, or others, joy.
In conclusion, lamb as a dish is best served NEVER. It is a betrayal of the palate, a disgrace to the kitchen, and a compelling argument for vegetarianism.
Jacob: You should come over for dinner tonight.
Patricia: That sounds lovely, what are we having?
Jacob: A lamb dinner, I was thinking a roast leg of lamb.
Patricia: I just threw up in my mouth.
Jacob: Lamb Souvlaki?
Patricia: I would rather starve.
Jacob: Lamb chops?
Patricia: Que distinguida.
Jacob: Lamb kofta?
Patricia: Que feo.
Jacob: Lamb Shank Ragu?
Patricia: Ohhhh, you know what? I just remembered, I am busy tonight, sorry.
Patricia: That sounds lovely, what are we having?
Jacob: A lamb dinner, I was thinking a roast leg of lamb.
Patricia: I just threw up in my mouth.
Jacob: Lamb Souvlaki?
Patricia: I would rather starve.
Jacob: Lamb chops?
Patricia: Que distinguida.
Jacob: Lamb kofta?
Patricia: Que feo.
Jacob: Lamb Shank Ragu?
Patricia: Ohhhh, you know what? I just remembered, I am busy tonight, sorry.
by Volando Con El Viento April 20, 2025
Get the Lamb dinner mug.