John is probably disassociating right now. Slipping in and out of dismal self doubt and a mind void of thought or reason. A small drop of drool escaping the corner of his mouth catches his attention and, for a brief moment, he is aware of himself. Numbly, he checks his email to see if his favorite store has a discount code for something he might find vaguely interesting. Buying and consuming is one of the few ponds of dopamine not yet fully dried up in the barren desert that is his sinking consciousness.
A chime sounds off. He is receiving a call.
He is excited more now than he has been all day!
Rushing to flush the toilet and wash, he checks the number. It is unknown.
“Hello? John speaking!” He barks, almost dropping his cracked iPhone 7.
“Hi John, can you hear me?”
A sweet voice coos from the line.
“Yes, of course! What can I do for you?”
He says curiously.
“Hi John! My name is Anna. We have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.”
...
A chime sounds off. He is receiving a call.
He is excited more now than he has been all day!
Rushing to flush the toilet and wash, he checks the number. It is unknown.
“Hello? John speaking!” He barks, almost dropping his cracked iPhone 7.
“Hi John, can you hear me?”
A sweet voice coos from the line.
“Yes, of course! What can I do for you?”
He says curiously.
“Hi John! My name is Anna. We have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.”
...
by SomeoneAnyoneJustNotJohn November 22, 2021
Get the Johnmug. At the end of dogie style position the man shoots his load directly in the back of the head of the female. Then jumping off the bed as john Wilkes booth did to Abraham Lincoln.
Yo Dave I john Wilkes booth the shit of that chick last night. Defiantly about to start another civil war.
by Typicalsix pack bob September 15, 2014
Get the John Wilkes boothmug. by Factman007 July 26, 2017
Get the john borushmug. The John fisher is a school full of rode men that are all on job all pull girls and don’t rate calmoes and all gym lads
by Zach is hot April 19, 2018
Get the the john fishermug. Wow Nathan john you so much better building motorbike ramps in building things then any of his brothers.
by Dr knowsmorethanyou September 16, 2020
Get the Nathan Johnmug. The cutest boy on the world he’s 6’2” and he’s all of it. He knows how to work it and he knows how to twerk it. He goes by Figgy, Figz, Cutie pie and many more! He is very social active and has lots of friends that he cherishes and loves deeply. At the start of everyday he checks his fantasy football team even though he has no chance to win, eats cereal but puts milk in first, ugh whatta weirdo. He puts his glasses and hair on every morning say goodbye and I love you to his family members. I think he still has Amber written on his wall in his room ;). Then he walks in the bathroom and shats all over the wall and wipes his forehead all over the wall but his tongue is unnaturally long he licks his forehead clean. And goes to school and shats on everything he sees and to end his day he gives a special boy (Chico) a hug after german ;)))). That’s Figgy for you!
by Cutie pie 11 September 27, 2018
Get the john figueroamug.