Introduce John Thomas to Aunt Flo

Having sex with a woman during her period.

Ugh ... My girlfriend just got her period, so it looks like I gotta introduce John Thomas to Aunt Flo tonight!

by MarioCBreeze August 07, 2024

Introduce John Thomas to Aunt Flo

Having sex with a woman who is having her period.

Ugh ... my girlfriend just got her period, so now I gotta introduce John Thomas to Aunt Flo tonight!

by MarioCBreeze August 07, 2024

The John Stamos Proximity Effect

The relative coolness of a person or object is defined by a value inversely proportional to the square of the distance of said object or person from John Stamos.

Bob Saget is only cool because of the John Stamos Proximity Effect after he was on Full House

by Armacham85 October 30, 2010

John James Autobahn

A famous painter who loved to create magnificent detailed and colorful artwork-renderings of the different makes/models of zippy cars that traverse Germany's high-speed motorways.

Like his well-known feathered-friend-image-painting counterpart, John James Autobahn's one big regret about his work was that he was obliged to bring to a stop and park each of the speedy cars that he "captured on canvas", so that said "subject" vehicle would stay still for him to scrutinize its minute features and reproduce them with his pigments. John was famously known as"the boy who hated garages" --- he felt that these man-made and "confining" monstrosities were all so hideously ugly, and that the fast and nimble "light on their wheels" vehicles he loved were so much more beautiful and delightful to observe when they were out roaming and racing about, just as free as the air they passed through.

by QuacksO April 27, 2019

jimmy john's challenge

When you order Jimmy John's and try to masturbate before they deliver your sandwich to the door.

I lost the Jimmy John's challenge again yesterday. Twice in a row I answered the door with a boner.

by Save yourself for dessert February 23, 2018

John Cronined

When you tell someone whatever they want to hear to get them to settle down or go back to work.

This guy asked me when the job would be done so I " john cronined" him and told him it would be don't today!!!!

by Blazenink September 29, 2022

St. John's jaw

A painful and elocutionarily debilitating medical condition originally identified among pederastic members of the Brothers Hospitallers of St. John of God, brought on by compulsive fellatio performed on unwilling minors.

A doctor's office in 1974...
Doctor: Well, Brother, what might the problem be today?
Patient: Humph-haugh-haugh-maugh-hinh.
Doctor: St. John's jaw again, is it? That's the third time this year, Brother. You really must give it a rest.
Patient: Rhaoum-haugh.

by doonga November 08, 2013