mounting and balancing

Play-on-words term for da pre-intercourse positioning of either yourself or your tire-shop worker --- depending on whether you’re gonna be doing it cowgirl or doggy-style, respectively --- dat would occur prior to your having sex wif him in exchange for his installing one or more tires on your car/truck and applying whatever wheel-weights are necessary. Said “bouncy-bouncy” is intended to recompense said automotive-servicing employee for his anti-wobble labors to ensure dat your VEHICLE doesn’t “do da bouncy-bouncy” as you travel down da road afterwards, and is performed due to your possessing insufficient funds in your bank account to cover da costs of said vehicle-servicing, and thus a check dat you’d write to him would ITSELF do some major “bouncing” when he tried to deposit it.

One should be wary of accepting a “mounting and balancing” deal wif a cute chick who beamingly offers you said “service for servicing” --- or perhaps dat should be spelled, “cervix for servicing” --- trade… if you naively agree to perform da wheel-repair work BEFORE said hottie allows you said promised “ultimate favor” instead of insisting dat she give you her own “servicing” first, it would be all too easy for her to simply drive off afterwards without actually spreading her legs for you!

by QuacksO October 8, 2023

fair and balanced

An oxymoron for Fox News

Fox news is 'fair and balanced'

by iDontTrustYou November 19, 2023

Walking taco balancing on my head

I don't care/it's not in my control/it doesn't matter.

Sean: "If we put the keyboard solo on the EP it'll sound good but won't match the physical release."
Lachlan: "walking taco balancing on my head"

by Bigscheming December 13, 2025

The Texas Variant of the Fahim x Farhan Balanced Craftwars: Overhaul, Hebrew Edition Kiss

this is when 2 people named fahim and farhan have hardcore gay sex for at least 8 minutes (they have to penetrate each other at least once, and for each penetration, they have to excrete feces when the other person's penis is inside of them). then, they suck each others cocks until their mouths are lined with poop, and then passionately kiss. however, since this is the texas variant, they use guns (any gun, preferably long ones) instead of their penises, however penises can be allowed if it is used in combination with a gun. they also have to masturbate to balanced craftwars porn. not much is known about the hebrew edition part, but it is fortold in ancient welsh legend. after they kiss, with each other's poop in each others mouth, they have to pee and ejaculate in each others mouth, first, with somebody squatting down and holding their penis back between their thighs and then peeing/ejaculating, with the other person doing the same thing. then, the person with the smaller penis (usually fahim) will insert their penis into the other person's penis. however, for extra pleasure/freakiness, the person with the larger penis can insert their penis into the smaller penis's urethra instead. once the penis is in the other person's urethra, they pee in each other's urethras. after that, they passionately suck on each other's poop covered cocks once more and then kiss. make the urethra start bleeding beforehand for extra freakiness points! then they kiss again!

fahim: yo, are you down to do the Texas Variant of the Fahim x Farhan Balanced Craftwars: Overhaul, Hebrew Edition Kiss?
farhan: *taking off pants and pulling up bcw porn* yo bet, this time it's gonna last 5 hours!

by talukderlover98 May 8, 2024

<.7.9.7.6.>Undressing Under The Balance Of A Musical Master And Mix<.7.9.7.6.>

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by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian May 12, 2025

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by .6.9.7.6.ArimorylulA.8.3.0.5. December 7, 2025