institutional masturbation

The effort colleges and universities put forth to convince their alumni to participate in their fund-raising schemes. Often, these letters will cite your success as evidence of their effectiveness. When this propaganda is presented in written form, it will include at least .5 exclamation marks per paragraph.

Some F. Schmuck has challenged <insert demographic here> to raise <insert amount here> by offering to match it if our goals are met! Your contribution will enable more students to have experiences just like yours and for us to continue our tax-payer and donor funded institutional masturbation.

by Still Paying Student Loans April 11, 2008

Nervous Masturbation

It is when you are so nervous about something, you masturbate.

My Nervous Masturbation, yesterday, wasn't the best because I was nervous about the final exams.

by TioKilo May 24, 2017

easy to masturbate to

A comment mainly left on blogs or video sharing websites to indicate a video or blog was good

Cool video. I found it easy to masturbate to

I found this thread easy to masturbate to

by tory borty December 23, 2012

caught masturbating

The act of being discovered while you are masturbating. This usually leads to pure humiliation, especially if the discoverer is a celebrity.

"Chase Rodrigue masturbated in his mom's truck when she went out to buy some groceries. However, our local weatherman caught him masturbating."

by Rob. February 2, 2003

Masturbation Arm

Disproportionate muscle growth in the arm used in masturbation, resulting in an "imbalance" of arm size.

Can be cured by using the weaker arm instead.

"Dude, check out my bicep! It's huge!"
"That's because you jerk with that one. Let's see the other one."

"I can lift a sofa with my masturbation arm. The other's just weak."

by funtakmonster February 20, 2012

architectural masturbation

When a design professional produces a design that incites a "gasm," resulting in the enthusiastic exclamation of "Ah..." or a simliar sound.

Sergio practiced architectural masturbation when he designed a Gothic Cathedral and excalimed: "Mon-a-mii!!!"

by B.R.K.D January 1, 2008

Mental masturbation

the act of engaging in intelligent and interesting conversation purely for the enjoyment of your own greatness and individuality. Subjects range from obscure lp's to cultural movements in preindustrial societies. Either delivered through grand monlogues or subtle conversation orientation, it links large words and random references resulting in nothing acually being communicated.

Though the influence of Ric Okasisk was quite evident within Weezer's blue album, rivers coumo domination of the lyrical form seem quite evident in Pinkerton

by Robert finkle February 19, 2005