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Jared

From ancient times of Judaism this powerful word mean't "The only one". Poets and Scholars throughout the ages have often come to think of this word, this name as the closet thing they could ever connect to a divine being. Truly blessed those that are given such a name, favoured by unknown entities that protect and offer goodwill to.

Always trust in a Jared for they truly are divine.

False ways to spell this include Jarrad, Jered, Jarad, Gerad, Jwardico and Jerad. May unlucky tidings pass those that say such blasphemy.
What's that on the hill? Oh that's Jared, he's pretty awesome.

Hey Jared can you impregnate my wife with your seed?
by General Pang Wang December 28, 2019
mugGet the Jaredmug.

jared zoot

An absolute scary monster of a zoot that only the biggest of zoot smokers can smoke
That's a Jared zoot bro, lemme have some tokes I wanna get Bruce lee'd
by Yea mate August 30, 2017
mugGet the jared zootmug.

Jared

A fucking adopted cunt who thinks hes the shit. Beat his ass god damn it
Jared:I'm cool
The boys: Shut up jared your fucking adopted!
by Diabetic surgeon October 15, 2019
mugGet the Jaredmug.

Jared

Queer/Homo/Tranny/Fag/Gender Fluid
Usually on some old dirt back road getting sucked off by a dude named T-Jizzle.
Careful around that guy, hes a jared, might try to suck you off
by anonymous April 17, 2023
mugGet the Jaredmug.

Jared

Used as an expression similar to saying "f you" or "f off".
Works best when you stick your hand up in the other person's face while calling them Jared.
A name used to deflect an individual that is: obnoxious, rude, selfish, ill-mannered, arrogant, stuck-up, full of themselves, bully, uneducated, taddle-tale, cocky, coward, immature.
Similar to a Karen

Someone who acts tough but cries like a bitch when it comes down to fighting or dealing with a situation.
Someone who talks a lot of shit.
Sticking hand in someone's face and saying

" K Jared!"
"Calm down Jared!"
"Shut the fuck up Jared!"
"Man, Ben's being a real Jared these days "
"You've been such a Jared since you started dating that chick man."
by Elysiium 92 April 21, 2021
mugGet the Jaredmug.

Jared Laing

Jared is a tall man who hit puberty at a young age. He has a huge d**k and the ladies can always see his bulge.
"Look at him you can see it his name must be Jared Laing"
by Jackasswhohatesyouall December 8, 2016
mugGet the Jared Laingmug.

Jared

Having the name Jared is basically having reached the end you are the best you have achieved everything if your name is Jared by the time you have completed life you will have made boris Johnson shut the fuck up you would have made infinate funny season of modern family you have in vented the infinate money machine you have defeated all these 9 year old internet clown who have supported jake Paul and Bryce hall and most importantly you have taken everyones girl on earth
Oh another Jared just stole my ting well he’s Jared he is a sexy beast it is natural
by Best defffonitions July 31, 2021
mugGet the Jaredmug.

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