WANKER

1) Someone who loves themselves so much that masturbation isn't enough self-love for them, so they publicise their imaginary greatness by appearing on reality TV shows, or failing that, add entries to definition websites describing people with their name as somehow better than everyone else. See also: narcissist.

2) Basically the same as 1) above but a narcissist who, having had their pride bruised by someone, decides it is a mature and reasonable course of action to define aforementioned person on a definition website with details of said infidelity plus various fabrications about their sexual and/or culinary desires. Someone who publicly blames their own inadequacies on someone else.

I was on Urban Dictionary last night voting on the latest definitions, and I couldn't believe how many wankers there were trying to big themselves up or put someone down.

by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011

winker

ones anus or arsehole

He bent over and all I could see was his winker.

by SKiB May 15, 2005

bugger off you fucking wanker

A British way of saying: "Go fuck yourself, dickhead" or "get the fuck out of my face"

Brit 1: Could I bother you for a fag?
Brit 2: Bugger off you fucking wanker!

by James Lowe January 9, 2008

torquing wicked cable

to take a poo, shit, dung, deficate, leave a stool specimin, drop the cosby kids off at the pool and so on....

"Your body wants that airplane food out, so your in the restroom TORQUING WICKED CABLE"

by Adam Smetak June 10, 2008

9gag wanker

A person who pretends to be browsing 9gag (preferably in public area), but actually he is watching porn, and then when he gets caught he just says "I was on 9gag".

Yo, Vlad, What are you doing, eh?

*switches tab to 9gag*
I am on 9gag!
You are such a 9gag wanker, eh!

by wanking December 13, 2016

you're the wanker

The proper response to being called a wanker

guy 1: "You wanker"

guy 2: "You're the wanker."

guy 1: "(wanking, my secret shame! How did he know?)"

by TreeWeezel November 24, 2010

Wanker

1. a contemptable person; jerk.
2. a male masturbator.

"You always take the last of the Fruit Loops, you wanker!"

by Glenanne August 30, 2007