The Laws of Hipsterism

1) One's goal shalt always be in contradiction with one's actions (the Irony Law). The is the foundation of all ye hipsterism, and the law that binds all other laws.

2) Nothing shalt be practical, a hipster shalt do everything for appearances.

2) Finally, a hipster shalt never claim to be a hipster.

Ye Application of The Laws of Hipsterism:

#1
Normal Person: Hey you want to go shopping with me?
Hipster female: No, I don't care about how I look.

(Hipster Female shalt then traverse to ye Olde Thrift store where thou shalt spend one full half day looking for garments)

#2
Normal Person: Hey! I like this artist. Their music is good!!

(Thou buys/downloads album to listen to)

Hipster Guy: *No inner monologue, for hipsters do not think consciously for themselves.

(Thou buys Vinyl to show ye others that thou purchases Vinyls.)

#3
Hipster One: I hate hipsters.

Hipster Two: Me too! God! I'm going to write an entry in Olde English and send it into Urban Dictionary that professes my hate for hipsters!!

Hipster One: Right on dude!! Hey you want to go to the thrift store afterwords to go buy records?

Hipster Two: Sorry man, but I can't I'll be pretty busy writing that entry and my fixed gear bike's in the shop right now.

Hipster One: It's cool dude...I...I love you.

Hipster Two: I...I love you too.
________________________________________________

THESE ARE THE RULES TO BE SPREAD FAR ABOVE THE SKY AND ACROSS THE LAND: FOREVER AND EARNESTLY, UN-IRONICALLY AND FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND!!!

by smellls November 6, 2011

unspoken law

a social rule, which everyone knows they should abide by, but some people always break it, that's why its there. Stuff that is not illegal, but is still frowned upon for doing.

Not master bating on a plane is an unspoken law
Same with Cheating on wife of gf

by -Omz- November 4, 2013

Hoffman's Law

Temporary solutions tend to become permanent.

Take the time to do it the right way before Hoffman's Law bites us.

by DevOps Dude May 30, 2018

Wesselink's Law

The theory that when a maestro of any kind of musical activity says that it is the last time, it shall be repeated an undefined number of times.

Dude, he said we would be done three run throughs ago, I guess that's wesselink's law for you.

by Smashed Marx September 26, 2017

Jacob's Law

This is a fundamental law of manhood. Jacob's Law is that when referring to ones penis in a jokingly or flirtatious manner, you must portray it as smaller than it actually is. This means you never let a girl down once in the sack.

Originating from the Australian outback at Jacob's Creek hence the name

Matthew: I was chatting to this girl last night and ended up having sex
Ben: ah nice, did you use Jacob's Law?
Matthew: yeah for once a girl was fine with my average sized penis

by ciy June 14, 2020

Law of Gravity

(G * m1 * m2) / (d2)

Hey, did you just break The Law of Gravity? That's illegal you know

by Erufailon February 5, 2010

husband in Law

The guy who hooks up with your exwife

I hope my husband in law didnt wear out the old lady while i was gone

by Suka may korncob January 3, 2019