Certainty Pimp

Someone who sells "certainty" on a particular issue to gain money or power -- usually a politician, pundit or preacher. Certainty Pimps don't like shades of gray because they force people to think for themselves.

Did you see that Certainty Pimp on TV? He says the recent cold snap is proof that global warming is a complete hoax.

by Peter Kobs January 17, 2009

Flag

Get the Certainty Pimp mug.

pimp cane

An essential tool to the hardcore pimp, while a mere prop for softcore pimps. Hardcore pimps usually tip their canes with gold, an element conducive to manipulation of the pimp field. Unfortunately, softcore pimps think themselves as "above" this and use their wealth to completely plate their cane with gold, or create gold canes outright. This serves no purpose but to cause greater differentiated wealth distribution and suffering in the world. Hardcore pimps understand this, and do only what is necessary to use the pimp force to maintain good and balance in society.

Average dimensions measure 3 feet tall x 2 inches wide x 2 inches deep.

Usually made from a special wood-metal alloy that only hardcore pimps know how to make. Softcore pimps substitute with valuable metals such as platinum or gold.

"Never use your pimp cane to smack that azz!" - Pimp Mommy A

by Pimp Daddy O February 03, 2004

Flag

Get the pimp cane mug.

pimp steaks

hot dogs

"Don't burn them pimp steaks, y'hear?"

by mrxinu October 31, 2008

Flag

Get the pimp steaks mug.

Pimp Hand

1. The hand used to smack your ho's around.

2. The ability to be a pimp who has control over his ho's and brings in mad money as a result.

1. "My hos know that they will get a strong pimp hand if they don't do as I say and bring me cold hard cash hourly."

2. "My pimp hand is strong, that's why I have all this gold jewelry and flashy clothes" - or - "My pimp hand is weak, and my ho's aren't representin'"

by gina November 20, 2003

Flag

Get the Pimp Hand mug.