Tiktok Philosopher

-a stupid nigga where they only read existentialist books like kafka, camus and dostoyevsky and neglecting other philosophical movement and schools because of tiny their stupid fucking brain to comprehend a book not long than the 19th century.

stupid nigga: i read camus and kafka bro yes i understand life

me (an intellectual): you dont understand shit, nigga. i hope you get raped by a gorilla.

tiktok philosopher

by trolley or trolling? April 25, 2024

tiktok philosopher

Someone who spends most of his/her time on Tiktok and built a personality out of "philosophy" tiktokers.

Woman: "I am a philosopher. I watched lots of tiktoks and realized that men are bad because-"
Person with common sense: "Shut the fuck up, nigger. Nigga be a tiktok philosopher and shit."

by NiggasCallMeTheDrink June 25, 2024

West Philly Water Fountain

pouring water into a stripper/hookers asshole, from which they proceed to fart or shart, spewing the water out ready for drinking.

She gave me a really good West Philly Water Fountain

by Willsmithspapa420 October 3, 2024

Louis Philippe

Louis Philippe is the kind of man you want to keep always next to you. His charming smile, friendly attitude, and sweetness is infatuating and will warm your heart in a cold winter night. Louis Philippe loves to wrap himself around you like a cashmere blanket and he gives incredible hugs from behind. You will never be the same after he has hugged you and kissed your neck while you were making pasta carbonara. His love making skills will leave you breathless in a spell like state of mind, and some women like to keep him in the bedside drawer and whip him out during hard or stressful times. Louis Philippe is thoughtful, and intelligent. He knows what you are thinking even before you say a word but even better than that, when Louis Philippe makes a mistake he actually takes accountability like a grown up man (and those are hard to find).

Tonight I am going to shaggle with Louis Philippe

by Art4love January 14, 2025

Epistemological Philosophy

The branch of philosophy that asks whether knowledge is even possible, and if so, how. It's the field that gave us Descartes' "I think, therefore I am" (the only thing he couldn't doubt) and every philosophy student's favorite question: "But how do you know?" Epistemological philosophy has spent millennia refining the art of skepticism, producing generations of graduates who can undermine any claim but can't actually prove anything themselves. It's the philosophy of "are you sure about that?" elevated to a discipline.

Example: "He asked his girlfriend if she loved him. She said yes. He, being a student of epistemological philosophy, asked how she could be certain, given that love was an internal state she could only access introspectively, and introspection was notoriously unreliable. She said she was sure. He asked if she was sure she was sure. She left. He then questioned whether he knew why she left, and the cycle continued."

by Dumu The Void February 14, 2026

Sleep Philosophy

The branch of metaphysics that grapples with the existential terror of losing a third of your life to an activity that resembles death, yet is essential for functioning during the other two-thirds. It questions the nature of consciousness: if you are not aware of yourself for eight hours a day, are you still "you"? Is dreaming just your brain defragging its hard drive, or is it a window into a parallel reality where you're constantly unprepared for exams? Sleep philosophy doesn't have answers, but it does have a lot of late-night (ironically) questions.

Example: "Lying awake at 4 AM, staring at the ceiling, he engaged in some deep sleep philosophy. 'If I fall asleep now,' he thought, 'I'll get three hours of rest. But if I just stay awake, I'll be tired but will have gained three more hours of being alive. Which is the better use of my limited time on this earth?' He then watched three more hours of cat videos."

by Dumu The Void February 14, 2026

Dream Philosophy

The branch of metaphysics that questions whether your waking life is actually the "real" one, or just another layer of dreaming. It's the late-night, post-nightmare realization that if dreams can feel so real, what's to stop reality from being someone else's dream? Dream philosophy also grapples with the ethics of dream actions: if you commit a crime in a dream, are you guilty? (Legally, no. Existentially, you might want to examine that). It's the philosophy that makes you deeply suspicious of anything that makes too much sense.

Example: "After a dream where I had a long, detailed conversation with a floating lampshade about the meaning of life, I woke up and entered a deep state of dream philosophy. Was the lampshade wiser than me? Was I the lampshade? Why can't I remember where I put my keys? These are the questions that keep philosophers up at night—literally."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026