John

People with this name somehow manage to look like every single zoo animal all at once. They also have a tail.

"Let's go to the zoo!"

"Why, we already have a John!"

by JohnHater6942069 December 11, 2023

john hardie pint

a terribly poured pint, pint with so much head you could stick a flake in it

john: ‘pours a crap pint’

customer: “that’s a john hardie pint !!! “

by Pscho beech December 11, 2023

John Carlos Knight

This guy thinks he his a sigma, he plays with children and he thinks he's the hottest guy on earth

did you hear about what John Carlos Knight did to that little girl

by John Carlos Knight December 12, 2023

John

A man that passionately loves massive red throbbing cock ripping his anus. Typically done by black fem boys.

That dude is such a John.

by Austin Penwhite December 12, 2023

John Racism

John Racism, the inventor of racism, grew up in Mobile, Alabama, in the early 1700s. One day he stumbled across his very first black person and was fascinated at the pigment in their skin. From that day forward he dedicated his life to hating everyone based on the color of their skin and he made it known that in his mind, people with the same white skin as him, her higher in status then every other skin color. The people of his hometown all loved this idea due to them also having white skin. The word quickly spread amongst the white world and this amassed something of a cult following for John. To honor his name, the action of hating someone based off their color garnered his last name “Racism”. Although John may not have known it at the time, he would go on to have the biggest impact on this world, splitting it into a war of which race would end up on top.

Aaron: “Racism is such a bizarre concept, if it wasn’t for John Racism, I would have been felt more comfortable with the color of my skin”

Carlos: “Hell no! John Racism was a badass, I love being able to say racial slurs and feel better about myself because of my white skin!”

by Saucy Spoon December 12, 2023

Alexander John Major

Dementia of a 93 year old at 18, professional Linda Manor resident, also Leo major is his great uncle or something like that. Loves to leave class for 10 minutes every day for a "special somebody "- Josh DeSimone. Number one Celtics enthusiast. Loves all red soccer teams (only Arsenal, Manchester United, Liverpool). Very mysterious (could be due to the dementia). Masterful at 0.5 photos.

Alex Major is angry at Billy for yelling at him for throwing mayo in the lunchroom. He is for real pulling an Alexander John Major.

by Jorge(Pronounced George) December 15, 2023

John Thumb

Defined as the act of releasing one’s bowels in a manner where the shape of said excrement perfectly fits into the bottom of said toilet, plugging up the hole well enough to prevent successful flushing. Similar to the tale of the boy holding back a leaking wall with his thumb, this unintentionally shaped turd plug seats itself tight enough to hamper draining of thy marble throne.

Once I was finally able to push out that brown submarine from my ass, the dam turdpedo clogged my toilet so bad that my plumber said he doesn’t respond to JOHN THUMB service calls.

by Apologetic Shiek December 16, 2023