Table Simping

The act of being submissive to a person simply because they bought a table at a nightclub. Typically occurs when a dude with daddy's money isn't funny or capable of speaking to women, so he spends $5-10k on a table and invites a hot girl with 30+ bodies to stand next to him at his table. The girl wears a slutty cocktail dress and the guy wears ripped light wash jeans, Yeezy's, a gold chain on the outside of his shirt, and a black t-shirt so tight it might as well be painted on. The entire concept is adjacent to prostitution. It's an easy way for beta men to fuck a whore without 'technically' paying for it.

"Hey friends, I was thinking of having a group dinner at my place this Thursday. Maybe cook up some chicken parm and sip some wine while we watch the sunset! Are you interested?"

"No, sorry, I'm going to see insert no-name DJ tonight. Steve from the Seaport is buying $1,500 bottles of shitty Tito's at a nightclub the size of my bedroom, so I'm gonna go table simping."

by artfuldodger69 August 19, 2022

Table One

a group, preferably one that comprises a luch table, that one a select few can ever enter.

Anyone not at table one for luch is a chode boy fresh

by CBFTREVVYTREV April 19, 2009

table mate

A cowerer who goes to a conference with you who sits at the same table.

Hey pal, who is your table mate today?

by mr+Incognito September 18, 2019

Table Spam

All that space-taking crap you find on tables at restaurants--extra drink menus, desert menus, weekly specials menus, Direct TV ads. . .

"Move this damn table spam, I need room for my platter of bottomless chicken wings."

by SaladFork May 13, 2013

Table Slap

The contact of hand and table that makes a loud clap noise. It can be used to show the new kid at school where to sit (especially if you wish for them to sit next to you).

Person 1 "The table slap is the reason I have friends"
Person 2 "I'll slap that table when I see it next"

by Just_some_friends_online June 7, 2022

Table tennis

Its actually called ping pong

i love playing table tennis (ping pong)

by Cthuulhu April 19, 2023

Table Racism

When someone confronts you about breaking a table or flipping on in a sign of anger. Or you just only like one type of table.

Man you only like oak tables, thats pretty Table Racist.

Dude you broke my coffee table, thats a pure sigh of Table Racism you know!

by •River Bridge• May 10, 2018