Lap Lettuce

It's just like how lettuce is slang for the hair on your head except it's referring to your pubes.

Those hippies have gross braids and hairy pits, you just know that they have a disgusting amount of lap lettuce!

by JizzedOn June 4, 2025

lettucing

When you want to sing and enjoy a band from the early 2000s named after a food court.

Lettucing, lettucing. Lettucing, lettucing.

by Mr. Good Sir the 14th August 22, 2025

Dirty lettuce

Preforming a sexual act on a head of lettuce, then later using the same lettuce to make a salad for someone.

Friend 1: I totally give my boss the dirty lettuce for lunch.

Friend 2: Why are you like this.

by Sora290 January 5, 2022

Father Lettuce

Father Lettuce is the name of the man who fears no God

"Hey, have you seen Father Lettuce today?"
"Who tf-"

by RemyTheRat August 23, 2021

devil's lettuce

a different term for weed

oh look! it's devil's lettuce o' clock. smell ya later jon!

by garfilbert May 5, 2022

Lettuce

Lettuce is a green and wet just like me.

This lettuce is as good as your ass.

by Ewilly April 22, 2020

Lettuce Dildo

Similar to the phrase "let us pray" but rather "lettuce dildo" it is often stated to mark the beginning of a rather large orgy.

Adam begins, "I would like to welcome everyone to this 8 person orgy", Adam then holds up the dildo with both hands and states, "lettuce dildo" To which marks the official beginning of the orgy.

by Ohfuckthat11 October 3, 2017