Edvard is the guy with 2 mm slak penis but grows 3000% when erect wich makes him very dangerous because he can crush you with his big dong if you arouse him.
by slimsuedi October 1, 2019
Get the Edvard mug.Edward Cullen is a Mary Sue written for the sole purpose of encouraging girls aged eleven to fifteen to give up hard earned pocket money to Summit Entertainment and Little Brown and Co. He drives the perfect car. He has the perfect hair. He has the perfect face. He has the perfect body. He is also blindingly white and ice cold, which somehow translates out to sexy.
Many adults claim his character makes a positive influence on girls, stating that he encourages reading, and promotes themes like abstinence because he won't have sex with his girlfriend, Bella. However, they neglect to mention that he sneaks into a girl’s room without permission to watch her sleep, breaks down her car so she can’t see her best friend, forces his family to move away without saying goodbye to Bella in order to control her grieving process, and generally acts as a model of a controlling, abusive boyfriend. His behavior is excused, because fans of Twilight, the series he more or less stars in, claim he was doing it all “for Bella’s protection” or “because he loves her.”
Edward is a vampire with barely any of the consequences, and several added perks. When he goes out in sunlight, all he does is sparkle. He isn’t affected by crosses, or holy water. He can have children with humans. He’s super strong and super fast, and he reads minds.
All in all, he's a fictional character who provides girls with the perfect, abusive bad boy.
Many adults claim his character makes a positive influence on girls, stating that he encourages reading, and promotes themes like abstinence because he won't have sex with his girlfriend, Bella. However, they neglect to mention that he sneaks into a girl’s room without permission to watch her sleep, breaks down her car so she can’t see her best friend, forces his family to move away without saying goodbye to Bella in order to control her grieving process, and generally acts as a model of a controlling, abusive boyfriend. His behavior is excused, because fans of Twilight, the series he more or less stars in, claim he was doing it all “for Bella’s protection” or “because he loves her.”
Edward is a vampire with barely any of the consequences, and several added perks. When he goes out in sunlight, all he does is sparkle. He isn’t affected by crosses, or holy water. He can have children with humans. He’s super strong and super fast, and he reads minds.
All in all, he's a fictional character who provides girls with the perfect, abusive bad boy.
Hey, what are all those eleven year old girls shrieking about?
They're discussing Edward Cullen. They'll outgrow guys like him in a few years . . . I hope.
They're discussing Edward Cullen. They'll outgrow guys like him in a few years . . . I hope.
by anti twihard April 10, 2009
Get the edward cullen mug.Related Words
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97 year old pedophile who stalks underage girls while they sleep, not to mention the cannibalistic fetish of suckin their blood out from a fresh wound.
by thisisit December 28, 2008
Get the Edward Cullen mug.by tabascosauce19 April 14, 2019
Get the Eduardo time mug.Here are the massive flaws of the vampire, Edward, in Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. And yes. I hate the book. Completely stupid thing to fill your minds up with.
1. He's so darn overprotective of Bella that sometimes i want to strangle him. "I won't let you go over the the werewolf pack cuz you might get hurt by the other guy who loves you." Completely valid reason, Edward.
2. EDWARD'S FRICKEN INK ON PAPER, GIRLS, YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY TELL ME HE'S GORGOUS. NO!!! DON'T DROOL ON YOUR SO-CALLED "BIBLE" OVER A COUPLE OF INK SPLOTS! AGH, THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!
3. He hates Jacob. Well, i hate Jacob, too, but still. I thought he was PERFECTION, girls, so he can't hate anybody!!! For a couple of reaons: 1, Jacob's in love with Bella..(i thought jacob had better taste than BELLA...?) I don't blame Eddy for that. Okay, secondly, he's jealous. WHAT'S THAT, DROOLING FANGIRLS!? I THOUGHT HE WAS "PERFECTION"!!! And thirdly, he hates werewolves because he's predejuced. OMG! LOOKS LIKE EDWARD ISN'T PERFECTION!!! who knew?
1. He's so darn overprotective of Bella that sometimes i want to strangle him. "I won't let you go over the the werewolf pack cuz you might get hurt by the other guy who loves you." Completely valid reason, Edward.
2. EDWARD'S FRICKEN INK ON PAPER, GIRLS, YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY TELL ME HE'S GORGOUS. NO!!! DON'T DROOL ON YOUR SO-CALLED "BIBLE" OVER A COUPLE OF INK SPLOTS! AGH, THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!
3. He hates Jacob. Well, i hate Jacob, too, but still. I thought he was PERFECTION, girls, so he can't hate anybody!!! For a couple of reaons: 1, Jacob's in love with Bella..(i thought jacob had better taste than BELLA...?) I don't blame Eddy for that. Okay, secondly, he's jealous. WHAT'S THAT, DROOLING FANGIRLS!? I THOUGHT HE WAS "PERFECTION"!!! And thirdly, he hates werewolves because he's predejuced. OMG! LOOKS LIKE EDWARD ISN'T PERFECTION!!! who knew?
Me: "I think the books are addicting, but lacking alot. For example, look at Edward!! Completely boring. I perfer Carlisle to Eddy.
Drooling Fangirl #1(completely ignoring me): No! I <3 Edward!! He's mine!
Drooling Fangirl #2 (Tearing at Fangirl #1's I <3 Edward cullen t-shirt): Whatever! I read the book first! I get edward.
Me: HE'S FRICKEN INKSPLOTS, WHAT DON'T YOU GET ABOUT THAT?!?!?
Drooling Fangirl #1(completely ignoring me): No! I <3 Edward!! He's mine!
Drooling Fangirl #2 (Tearing at Fangirl #1's I <3 Edward cullen t-shirt): Whatever! I read the book first! I get edward.
Me: HE'S FRICKEN INKSPLOTS, WHAT DON'T YOU GET ABOUT THAT?!?!?
by classicalmusicgurl December 23, 2008
Get the Edward Cullen mug.When a girl duct tapes each of her hands to a different man's penis, and cannot untape them until she has made each man ejaculate.
Girl: Patrick and Stanley wanted me to Edward Penishands them last night, but my left hand got tired and I was stuck with Patrick all night.
by dedwyf March 5, 2013
Get the Edward Penishands mug.Edwardo is a perfect guy. He's the sweetheart of guys and he knows how to treat a girl right. He can be a dick at times because he doesn't know what he's doing wrong, but he often redeems his actions by making the girl of his dreams happy again. Any girl would love to be with an Edwardo. He's got a great body and loves to be loved. He also is caring and lovable. He's faithful and trustworthy. He has good looks and can really make a girl happy!
Girl 1: did you see Edwardo today?
Girl 2: yeah I almost kissed him, but he rejected me
Girl 1: why?!
Girl 2: he told me he's faithful and loves his girlfriend and that he would never cheat on her
Girl 1: aww I wish I had an Edwardo for a boyfriend!
Girl 2: yeah I almost kissed him, but he rejected me
Girl 1: why?!
Girl 2: he told me he's faithful and loves his girlfriend and that he would never cheat on her
Girl 1: aww I wish I had an Edwardo for a boyfriend!
by Babexo November 14, 2013
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