absolute monkey

A braindead or an absolute illiterate.

This kid is an absolute monkey.

by Tc_goldie December 2, 2020

Absolute Doofus

Someone who is a little bit stupid, but you don't want to tell them that so you say this instead as a "joke"

OH MY GOD YOU ABSOLUTE DOOFUS WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

by Jaquavious The Alien™ August 31, 2025

an absolute missle launcher

a term that alleged hockey players use to refer to women they find extremely attractive. sometimes used specifically to be lowkey about the comment towards friends.

wow did you see her? she’s an absolute missle launcher bro

by lilblondewifey679 April 5, 2023

As Absolute Balls

To an extreme degree

"It is hot as absolute balls out here. I'm sweating like a pig."

by DoubleDDucky October 3, 2016