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fat on the couch

Common condition affecting married women.
Scientists have proven that a combination of diamond/gold wedding rings and wedding cake lead to your once attractive girlfriend (Now wife) getting Fat On The Couch. This woman who once took care of herself and made efforts to dress sexy and wear make-up, now rarely moves her fat ass off the couch. This condition is triggered by the chemical interaction of the wedding rings and cake and leads to the woman feeling secure knowing she can let her body go to hell because if her husband divorces her, she gets half his stuff.
My buddy's ex-wife got fat on the couch less than a year after they got married. He got tired of screwing a fat slob so got himself a hottie on the side. He kicked the fat bitch to the curb, but she took half his stuff.
by Tank178 November 7, 2005
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Couch Fisting

Couch fisting (also known as Crack digging) is the action of jamming your fist into the cracks of your sofa and finding stuff...
Hey man, today I was couch fisting and found a lip balm along with my ipod, pillow pants, my cellphone, 23 bucks, BellaDonna's magic hand, a clown nose, some doritos, chopsticks, the Lindbergh baby, a wig, my toothbrush, a kitten, some lazagna, the bible, a moustache, a spoon, some underwear, dentures, my car keys and some nutella...I think...
by ILOVELAMP!! December 9, 2010
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Wet-couch

When your jerking off on the couch and realize cum is on the couch
Oh shit I just wet-couch every where!
by QuadIsGay February 1, 2016
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off the couch

adjectival phrase referring to someone who used to be (or generally is) fit and active, but who has been engaged in a prolonged period of sloth.
"Hey dude, LW's at 4'--wanna boat?"

"I don't know... I'm kind of off the couch. Maybe we should just go to the Truss."
by DudebroLunger May 1, 2010
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Couch-taco

Either a person who basically subsists on nachos and tacos whilst perfecting the art of laziness.
Dude.. all you do is eat a crap load of nachos and watch television with your boyfriend.. your such a couch-taco
by rollerroaster October 22, 2010
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Couch Monster

A female college freshman who fucks numerous members of the rugby team on the couch in the rugby house, couches in Sophomore dorms, or just straight up raw dawgs on the couch.
Yo, Garbage Dick just got Couch Monstered in Hitchcock!

Yo, Joe just got caught by the couch monster!
by Joey Peanuts March 10, 2009
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Couch Bomber

When someone camps out on the couch watching sports, movies, etc. and farts repeatedly.
My couch bomber roomy must have had Mexican last night; he's just watched football and farted all day.
by Bobski27 March 2, 2009
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