Jake

A man that is awkard as hell and never shows his cock to anyone
jake why are you poking me in the side?

jake why are you spreading your asshole?
by johnnyboy16 August 02, 2009
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Jake

A published but then discarded Hobbit character from the Lord Of The Rings franchise, written by J R R Tolkien.

Jake was chosen first, over the character of Frodo Baggins, to be the carrier of the 'One Rind' an ancient strip of bacon rind forged long ago by the evil Jewish Necromancer "soups-on Goldstein".

Jake was quested to take the 'One Rind' to the cracks of 'Mount Pig Scrotum' where he was to cast it into the fiery sperm from once it came.

But alas Tolkien's first print was said to be "Far too Jewish for the public of it's time" and was unfortunately canned by the publishing company before it reached wide scale publication.

Only a few copy's survive of Tolkien's unread masterpiece for telling the heroic adventure of the debatable best protagonist that literature has never heard about, Jake.
Carlos - "Damn Jim I'm covered in pig sperm"

Jim - "Just like the One Rind after Jake threw it into Mount Pig Scrotum?"

Carlos - "Yeah exactly"
by Emulung January 10, 2013
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Jake

(adj) - to rape; the act of raping; to force ones self upon another

(noun) - rapist; a person who rapes another person (or animal)
Don't rape me! HELP!! This guy is a jake!
by Jamal S July 09, 2011
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Jake

Glittery, small-dicked faggot.
Jake is a jake.
by Liaraff December 05, 2011
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Jake

A guy who usually is blonde and has blue eyes.
Secretly has an obsession over vampire tv shows. Not committed he's a one night type of fella. Randomly likes to smile, even if his cat dies.
Boy 1: why does he smile all the time

Boy 2: idk he's looking like a victor smiling all the time
Boy 3: what can you say he's a jake
by Yoloswagnan March 26, 2017
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jakes

Put a hole in your fuckin' back if I catch you talkin' to the fuckin' Jakes
by Princess>-< September 10, 2015
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Jake

A guy who shits his pants
When you eat to much taco hell you Jake in your pants
by Confess101 December 16, 2017
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