Cheesman Excuse

An incredibly poor excuse that even the perpetrator knows is so horrendously appalling it's an insult to the intelligence of the listener.

Cheesman (Of Jamie And The Cheesmans): I'm very tired.
Innocent Bystander: It's 1 o' clock in the afternoon.
Cheesman (Of Jamie And The Cheesmans): I have to revise.
Innocent Bystander: You don't go to school. Wait a minute! That wasn't an excuse at all! It was a mere Cheesman Excuse, designed to put me off while you make your escape! Little do you know your days playing the bass are over, for you have been usurped by a superior artist!
Frankie: (Of Frankie and the fat kids) I'm taking this.
Cheesman (Of Jamie And The Cheesmans): Er, okay.

by Dom (Of Jamie And The Cheesmans) September 3, 2008

excuse me miss

A phrase uttered right before penetrating a girl so hard, you tear her perineum

Sam "excuse me miss"
Trisha "what?...AHHHH"

by Wilshire July 3, 2008

it exists

This is what you think when something you see on the internet is so fucked up or so abysmally cancerous that your head will melt into nothingness and force you to pour bleach on your eyes.

Examples:
-A furry, clopper, and an elephant doing a triple 69 bukkake orgy session.

-The comment section of just about every social media website

"It exists!" *digs eyes out and pours bleach into eye sockets*

by alcid34 October 13, 2018

Weak Excuse

An attempt to explain your motives, which ends in a horribly epic fail.

"Our country was founded by Christians"- A weak excuse to explain why we should separate separation of church and state.

"I was curious..."- A weak excuse to cover your tracks for knocking a girl up.

by Brian Wolffe January 5, 2009

Such Creatures Exist

A band based out of Waterloo, Iowa which is known for their breakdowns, hardcore dance music and chants.

Hey did you catch Such Creatures Exist last night? They fucked shit up!

by xPhillip Morrisx September 9, 2010

Reasons Why God Exists

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by ChingTaiwan May 23, 2011

excusecraft

A subset of corporate communication that involves developing plausible explanations for what went disastrously wrong with a project, usually to avoid responsibility as an outcome of blamestorming.

The client isn't buying that they lost our phone message about the missed deadline -- better start practicing some excusecraft.

by drwende July 8, 2005