Biola Brad (noun):
A male student attending Biola University or any Christian school where ring-by-spring culture thrives and chapel credits are mandatory. Recognizable by his broccoli-shaped haircut or tragic mullet and baggy thrift-store fit that somehow makes him look both feminine and deeply punchable.
Despite being surrounded by beautiful Christian women, he cannot hold a real conversation with one—thanks to a crippling porn addiction and the social skills of a wet paper towel. He values women only for their looks, not their personality.
Though scrawny, he hits the gym once or twice a week with his equally scrawny bros, hogs the bench press, and flexes aggressively in the mirror, convinced he’s making massive gains—despite looking exactly the same. He compensates by talking way too loud, over-explaining lifts, and pretending to coach his friends, thinking it asserts dominance. When a Biola Betty walks in, he grunts louder, loads up too much weight, and drops it dramatically, hoping she’ll notice—she doesn’t.
Still clutching his V-card (not by choice), he fumbles every romantic opportunity so badly he ends up as the “gay best friend”—despite very much not being gay.
A male student attending Biola University or any Christian school where ring-by-spring culture thrives and chapel credits are mandatory. Recognizable by his broccoli-shaped haircut or tragic mullet and baggy thrift-store fit that somehow makes him look both feminine and deeply punchable.
Despite being surrounded by beautiful Christian women, he cannot hold a real conversation with one—thanks to a crippling porn addiction and the social skills of a wet paper towel. He values women only for their looks, not their personality.
Though scrawny, he hits the gym once or twice a week with his equally scrawny bros, hogs the bench press, and flexes aggressively in the mirror, convinced he’s making massive gains—despite looking exactly the same. He compensates by talking way too loud, over-explaining lifts, and pretending to coach his friends, thinking it asserts dominance. When a Biola Betty walks in, he grunts louder, loads up too much weight, and drops it dramatically, hoping she’ll notice—she doesn’t.
Still clutching his V-card (not by choice), he fumbles every romantic opportunity so badly he ends up as the “gay best friend”—despite very much not being gay.
Biola Brad strikes again—he just fumbled a perfectly good conversation with a Biola Betty by talking about his fantasy football league.”
by ChapleChronicler February 19, 2025
Get the Biola Bradmug. heyy you know Brad Whitehouse?
"yeah hes Awesome"
Not Awesome, Fucking Awesome"
you know Jake Thompson?
"yeah hes Awesome to"
"yeah hes Awesome"
Not Awesome, Fucking Awesome"
you know Jake Thompson?
"yeah hes Awesome to"
by ImNotGod December 4, 2011
Get the Brad Whitehousemug. Brad is a person who is trying to be perfect all the time, he is always being emotional and over caring, which will make people sometimes think it's annoying while he is just trying to make sure that you're ok. If he hates someone, he will hate him/her for the rest of his life. So don't try to make him mad. He hates specific people such as Cassy, Adrian, Austin, Hayson, Quentin, Ryan, Jadon, Solar, Casper, Bella, Jaden Li, Audrey and John
by darkrreaper May 29, 2022
Get the Bradmug. A brad is a frat boy that drinks all the beer (preferably natural light) he thinks he’s huge and constantly screams Saturday’s are for the boys even when it’s not Saturday, he also has to wear only vineyard vines dress shirts, Patagonia, and sperrys, his father will also most definitely be a lawyer that will sue you.
Wow look at this brad over here shotgunning that beer, I hope he crashed his Jeep Wrangler he’s such a douche.
by Chris karalekas July 22, 2018
Get the Bradmug. by ScottMann August 13, 2017
Get the Brad Pylesmug. by Esarey December 11, 2018
Get the bradmug. by Rus44035 January 29, 2018
Get the brad hessmug.