Edward Jizzard Hands

When a man has sex with his woman, pulls out, and proceeds to ejaculate into his hands.

I was a real Edward Jizzard Hands last night, my sister-in-law caught me red handed

by Jizz hands October 18, 2017

dark hand

when you fist a girl in her butthole and pull out a long piece of shit

me: dude i just gave amy a dark hand

freind: dude thats so fucking gross

by jadkfjwreo October 28, 2017

hand rape

when you come up from behind someone, pin their hand to the ground and thrust your wrist up against theirs. Therefor, creating a very intimate experience between the two, even if it's uncalled for.

I was just hand raped. Help me

by The wenis master October 26, 2017

hand jiver

Slang expression for a (usually male) masturbater.

The said individuals nocturnal inclinations tend to suggest that he is a first class hand jiver.

by Kingcobrakenny October 27, 2017

Awkward hand syndrome

When you're having sex, making out, or just cuddling and your arm gets trapped in an awkward spot ( Straight up, or bent at chest leaving hand by your face) that renders your hand useless.

Think Ricky Bobby interview "I'm not sure what to do with my hands..."

I was in bed cuddling with my sweetie and somehow my arm got trapped between us, bent at the elbow, with my hand just sitting between our faces.
I declared "Awkward Hand Syndrome" and proceeded to "Vogue" various hand gestures including "thumbs up, thinking man,nose picking, and surprised guy"

by Brickdogrul October 29, 2017

Frog hand

Defines someone that sneezed a load in their hand.

That dude blowed so hard he's got the frog hand

by Adamu Atago May 18, 2017

Flimsy Hand Syndrome

Someone with the hand and wrist strength of a toddler.
A medical condition one develops as they age, elderly people are often found with this unfortunate syndrome.

"Destinee threw one punch and her entire knuckle swelled up!"
"Ahh, that's Flimsy Hand Syndrome for you."

by KayKairi May 29, 2017