Sail the porch

To spend long periods of time on one's front porch. Usually involves music, conversation and some form of inebriates. May also involve food, especially food produced from a grill.
I'm just planning to sail the porch tonight, you can come hang, too.
by tehamahreha February 28, 2009
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sweep the porch

To brush away lint, crumbs, dandruff, etc. away from the pubic hair of an individual prior to performing oral sex.
She was fine as fuck, but if you gotta sweep the porch to get in, you probably don't wanna go inside anyway.
by pbrdrunk January 10, 2017
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Porch Spam

Unsolicited junk mail flyers and adverts that litter your doorstep.
"I'm stepping out to get a burrito - cya in a bit."

<opens front door, triggering a rain of glossy cardstock all over the porch>

"Aw man, fucking porch spammers!"
by captain manly November 29, 2012
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Porch Gook

“I want my daughter to marry a Stanford Korean man like Dr. Bradley Kim, not some common porch gook like ‘Cooter’ Park.”
by crjoker December 31, 2024
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Porch Potato

A Mexican who sits on his porch and smokes weed.
by BobsSaget November 12, 2022
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The Porch couch

The most important time and piece of furniture in the poor white America. If not for a porch couch family's wouldn't get fresh air. Boys would never learn to finger bang. Ferrel cats wouldn't have a safe place to birth kittens. When pappy comes home drunk he wouldn't have a place to pass out and piss himself. It ties not only the family but the neighborhood together.
Amanda Lynn is coming over today to hang out on the porch couch. But didn't pappy sleep on it last night and piss himself? Oh it's OK we will flip the cushion and push the liter of kittens to the back. I'm going to be finger blasting tonight.
by Glenn Roberts March 21, 2022
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Porch Fishing

Noun:

The act of placing a fake package, or "bait box" on a porch or driveway to entice a "porch pirate", aka mail thief, into stealing it. It usually contains something unpleasant such as pet feces or dirty dirty socks. Some people on YouTube have gone more elaborate and built glitter flinging devices or packages connected to shot shell primers to scare the thief. And some just put something in the package to waste the thief's time.
"I used to have a bad case of porch pirates until my neighborhood started porch fishing. After that it cleared right up. Thanks porchfishing.org!"

"Going Porch Fishing? Don't forget to buy some shit at PorchFishing.org'
by @pdxTurdHunter March 23, 2023
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